You version would be reasonable. But whenever I look at the details of these experiments, they are just moving similar particles.

To observe something, you see, we have to steal some of its energy. And feed this energy to our eyes. And the fact that we can know the value of one particle by measuring another particle, means that they are a part of one system. And since we are measuring it, we must be stealing its energy. And since we are stealing the energy of something from the distance, this energy must be teleporting.

It feels like nonsense. But if it's nonsense, why do so many institutions work with it? Argh.