I was going to write a long response to this, but I'll keep it simple.

And when I ask individuals this question, the answers usually either 1) seem pretty fucking left to me, or 2) are not at all what Republican/conservative politicians are doing or have expressed desire to do.

I don't see laissez-faire economics as bedrock-foundational to conservatism. So if you asked me what conservative values are, you might hear a "pretty left" answer in terms of economics.

The real divide, and the reason why the website you're using exists at all, is the difference in cultural values.

If you asked average Democrats and Republicans about their economic values, you probably wouldn't get wildly diverging answers. You might even get answers that seem "pretty fucking left". Consider the issue of $2000 checks, for example.

If you asked them about culture, however... good luck.

Just an example: the conservative opinion on family, and the opinion that family is an evil patriarchical construct that must be abolished, are in two different moral universes.

Another example: the neoliberal censorship that is the reason this website exists. You can't say you don't understand the divide when you are currently using a website that is the product of that divide.

This is why I'm trying to build bridges. If you set up a candidate who is anti-war and pro-welfare for Americans, I guarantee you that you could get conservatives to support that candidate in droves as long as they leave the culture stuff behind. They don't have to be outspoken one way or the other. Just don't openly pledge to use the full power of government to fuck over conservatives on cultural issues.

You get a politician who stands by all the lefty policies you love. Conservatives get a candidate who is objectively better for them, doesn't explicitly hate them as a demographic, and doesn't push the "Republican" BS everybody hates.

Orrrrrr we could keep dividing the proles against each other on hot-button cultural issues that ultimately mean nothing, as each votes in neoliberal/neoconservative candidates on a 4-year rotating cycle, who do nothing but expand the powers of the police and surveillance states. Conservatives supporting free trade and tax cuts to "own the libs", leftists supporting woke monopolistic megacorporations and foreign wars to "own the cons".