Pornography was a heavy contributer in my sexual grooming and dehumanization from pre pubescence. My rapist showed me pornography as a means of introducing me to having sex with him when I was 13. He was 17-18 over the course of our relationship.

Porn reinforced the message from society that as a woman I was worthless. My rapist called me his loli. I was admired by him and his friends for my sexual maturity as he progressively coerced and later forced me into more and more extreme sexual acts. When I started to fight him during sex, he claimed that he was unaware that it was not part of our ongoing sex. I used to self harm heavily and sex became another method of hurting myself. When I finally left him after he forcefully penetrated me after I repeatedly told him no, he threatened me, stalked me, and made my life a living hell. He believed I belonged to (with) him. I believe his constant porn habit played a significant part in his predatory socialization as well.