Typical British Army sexual harassment situation

submitted by xoenix from files.catbox.moe

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Oh NO! She's... Attempting to flirt with him!! This is the greatest crime to ever have been committed!
These sexual harassment warnings are always caught in this strange space between: "This perfectly harmless act is being passed off as a literal crime" and "This overt, over the top nonsense that would never happen is being passed off as something that might occur and be confusing enough to need you to be reminded it's wrong"

[–]wylanderuk 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Unwanted sexual touching is what again? Oh yeah sexual assault.

You also cant see her rank tabs so it could also be abuse of power if she out ranks him.

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

There's nothing sexual about her touching. She's flirting. It's insane to draw these arbitrary lines in the sand with no specific criteria when it comes to flirting and declare them "Sexual Harassment".

Is it sexual if I touch you on the shoulder?
Is it sexual if I do it while smiling?
Is it sexual if I just use my finger tips and do it very lightly?
What if I do that while frowning?
What if I do that, but you like it?
What if you liked it yesterday, but don't like it today?
What if I do it to ask you to move to one side in a crowded room with lots of noise?
What if I do it in a crowded room with lots of noise but I linger on your shoulder as I pass?
What if it's not SO noisy I couldn't have asked by yelling, but I didn't want to interrupt the band/speaker?

You can't define the rules of flirting, and the rules only apply when the other person isn't attracted to you and enjoying it, which you won't know until you start flirting. She's not harming him, he knows how to say "No thank you.", and it's even more insane to think that, if you share a mutual attraction to someone, you can't do anything about it if you out-rank them because of "An abuse of power". The solution to all this isn't to declare ever harmless interaction to be possible "Sexual Harassment", it's to tell people to grow a spine and make it clear that something is unwelcome and let them deal with their own social situations like adults.

[–]wylanderuk 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Look at the fucking picture, there is no way you can frame the visual reaction as "him being into it". I agree the problem with current way sexual assault laws work that it comes into the its highly subjective. But you have to factor into how its currently used.

Also they are portrayed as being on fucking duty and being in the same chain of command for fucks sake. This is not a case of a civilian manager coming onto a employee but potentially a NCO or a Officer coming onto someone they have real command authority over.

Lets say he shuts her down and she takes it the wrong way, false complaint to his chain of command and that poor bastard is potentially facing a fucking court martial.

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Look at the fucking picture, there is no way you can frame the visual reaction as "him being into it". I agree the problem with current way sexual assault laws work that it comes into the its highly subjective. But you have to factor into how its currently used.

I didn't say he was into it. I said there's nothing sexual harassment about what's happening. If he's not into it, he's a big boy. He can say, and appears to be saying: "No thanks".

Problem solved. Adult attempted to flirt. Other adult said No. No harassment. No harm. She took her shot and missed.

The problem comes from presenting this harmless interaction as if it was Sexual Harassment. It would be a shame if his friends had told her he was into strong, confident women, and she had tried to appear strong and confident in her approach, and now she's up for dismissal because she wasn't his type, but if a brunette had done the same he would have welcomed it. It's not fair to label all efforts to approach the opposite sex like this. Just let the grown adults sort out grown adult social situations and, when that fails, then maybe you can look to HR.

Also they are portrayed as being on fucking duty and being in the same chain of command for fucks sake.

I don't care? Who cares? Are you not allowed to find people in your unit attractive? If I meet the woman of my dreams, but she's a private and I'm a lieutenant, even if she's basically waving me in and letting me know she's interested, I have to give up on that idea because of some chain of command? Why? It's already illegal to order her to sleep with me, why would it matter otherwise? She's not a child. She knows that it's against the rules to use my position to make her do things. What's the difference between that and me deciding I just don't like her face and making her life hell? If the person in a position of authority is an arsehole, it's always going to be a problem. If they aren't... Let them have social interactions like humans.

Lets say he shuts her down and she takes it the wrong way, false complaint to his chain of command and that poor bastard is potentially facing a fucking court martial.

What's the difference between that and her just deciding to file the same complaint because she hates him for any other number of reasons? Do we need rules about talking about your favourite football team? Or discussing politics? If she's an arsehole, she's an arsehole, and the problem extends beyond her desire to flirt. You get arseholes in positions of authority from time to time, and you either prove they misused their power or you deal with it another way. Same rule for flirting - She'll either take it well, or she's an arsehole. You can't make rules to dictate every facet of human interaction.

Basically, these "But what if..." scenarios are endless. What if she was attracted to him, but he's not attracted to her, but she's vindictive and slashes his tires??... Yeah, that's bad, but like abusing your power, there's already rules against that. The fact that it happened because of flirting shouldn't impact the situation. What if she likes Trump, but he was wearing a Democrat pin, so she slashed his tires?... It Could happen, so do we need rules around which political party you can talk about in public? What if she likes the local football team, but he likes the away team, so she slashes his tires?... It Could happen, so do we need rules about which sporting team you can support?

Any of these interactions could happen if she was an arsehole at any time, but we accept that as part of the story of life - Dealing with arseholes is hard and can be troubling, so you do your best. There's no reason to set up all these rules around trying to find a partner based on that already established life problem. It's the "Being an arsehole" part that's always been the issue, and we already have rules around that.