Male police officers should be able to strip-search women if they have a £5 certificate

submitted by bife_de_lomo from thetimes.co.uk

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[–]bife_de_lomo[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Conservative Party policing minister Chris Philip believes that a person's legal right to be strip-searched by someone of the same sex should be invalidated where the police officer has a £5 certificate stating that they have changed gender.

The world continues to go insane.

[–]notafed 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I wonder what would happen if EVERY male police officer got one of those certificates....

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Identify as non-binary pafgglaskroblothubic gender and insist on someone of the same gender for the strip search.

[–]LyingSpirit472 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That can be arranged too.

The real trick is you have to identify as non-binary nominalgender; by the rules of that one, you are literally the only human being on earth who can be that gender and it's impossible for anyone else to be your gender, which also means you are literally the only person on earth who is allowed to strip-search you...meaning if you choose not to be strip-searched, they can't strip search you at all!

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Sounds great. Here's the plan. Carry bags of oregano through UK customs, get searched, sue the UK government for violating my rights as a non-binary nominalgender, sell the rights of my story to a major Hollywood film outlet so they can make a hard hitting television drama, once the public becomes aware of my plight then they will pressure parliament to do something about it right now, and seeing as non-binary nominalgender persons are extremely underrepresented in British Royalty it's a perfect opportunity for Mr. Sunak to gain my favor by ousting the old monarchy in favor of me. A flawless plan Mr. Bond, a shame you won't be around to see it, once I hack into your social media account and post the lyrics to a popular rap song you'll be torn apart by a hoard of rabid undergraduate students while I as the rightful non-gender specific term for monarch of England enslave the Welsh to build more Pyramids. Nothing can stop me. Hahahahaha.

[–]LyingSpirit472 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But you forget, that's why I have too many legal loopholes to handle this. If you want to try this, Blofeldkin, you will have to head to my hideout in the small section of Yellowstone Park that is in Idaho, the place where I can legally do any crimes with impunity because it is impossible to get a jury of my peers who lives in the area. All it takes is waiting for the second amendment to get me missiles there, and your plan is doomed.