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[–]Haylstorm 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yeah like without sounding too mean to the kids, when something is happening there's often a reason. Like it's natural consequences if you're telling on everyone that other kids won't want to play with you, not bullying. It's a part of growing up to learn what behaviour is acceptable and what isn't and that being seen as bullying seems detrimental to everyone. Not exactly going to teach the kid that's forced their way into a group how to make friends either.

[–]ClassroomPast6178 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Had a 8 year old child about 7 or 8 years ago who had no one to play with at break or lunchtime. So, trying to be nice I asked a group of other children from my class to include this child at break that day…. I repeated this until I had asked every other child in the class. The lonely child was lonely because they treated every other child badly - I had to deal with crying children after every break/lunch - none of whom were the lonely child.

The day that that lonely child left my class to move schools was a relief and I honestly pitied the poor teacher who was getting them.

The reasons for the lonely child’s behaviour were 100% down to the junky mother who had a very young child and another on the way (different dads naturally) and the fact that the mother would always take the path of least resistance-misbehaviour was excused, if the lonely child said they felt ill with even the most minor complaint they were kept home etc.

Parenting matters more than anything else, and bad parents really screw children up.

[–]Haylstorm 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I feel bad for that kid if no one modelled good/expected behaviour they aren't going to magically learn it and it sounds like the mother indulges their whims which is never a fun combo. Kid is probably going to learn a painful lesson at some point that they should've learnt long ago without the violence.

Can't imagine how hard it is for the other kids either. Doing the 'right' thing and the kid just being awful. Just awful all round.

[–]ClassroomPast6178 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Some turn it around. I had another child who was an absolute nightmare for every teacher but me. They seemed to like me so behaved well whenever I was around (they were never in my actual class).

I find out that the very first week at secondary school they get caught with a knife, expelled and sent to a PRU - essentially a school for the pupils with behaviour problems that normal schools can’t deal with. They spent a year in the PRU before being back in a normal school - graduated with qualifications and by all accounts is now making a good life for themselves whilst looking after their younger siblings. The PRU did the job the child’s parents couldn’t and turned a child’s life completely around and I’m confident that without it they would either be in prison or dead right now.

[–]Haylstorm 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good for them!

Hopefully they can make sure their siblings do the best they can there. And more people who need it feel the benefit of a PRU like that kid. Though it's not a one size fits all thing it does seem like it can be a really useful tool of last resort.