Ugh, my son plays Pokemon and loves it. The guy who owns the shop he plays at is the type that would probably have roared at that judge to get over herself though. (I have it in my head that the they/them judge is a she/her, though I have come across a few very annoying male NBs too.) But I do worry about him becoming a bit like some of the people you describe. I knew plenty of boys/men like that when I was a teenager and some of them grew up to be very awkward, unfulfilled men. My son is empathetic, can be charming and is naturally athletic though. So I have a strict rule that he can do all the nerdy stuff he wants but he has to keep up some sort of social sport too. I don't have to be strict about it because he's happy to do a number of active hobbies but if I have be to as he gets older, I will be. I'm not overly worried though, as even though he's still a preteen, he's already quite into looking good in front of girls and knows that in general, girls are more impressed by physical ability than gaming.

All that said, if he ever gets kicked out of a tournament for having a nervous reaction to being asked his pronouns, I will tear the place down. This was bullying a kid based on ideology. I would honestly lawyer up and sue for discrimination. I'm not a lawyer but I'm pretty sure I'd win based off what I do know of the laws in my country.