Help, my kid patient has their own mind and so now I have no idea what to do.

submitted by jet199 from imgur.com

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]ClassroomPast6178 18 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 4 fun -  (6 children)

Terrifying that a school staff member with a safeguarding role is asking for advice as to how to prevent a child reject the abuse that they have suffered their entire life. That staffmember should be fired, and reported to whichever licensing authority is responsible for their accreditation and struck off.

It’s an entirely insane, and mores to the point, entirely outside of their fucking ideology. The whole underpinnings of gender identity theory are that individuals decide their gender identity themselves, according to them a parent can no more raise their kid NB as they could make their kid cis.

The fact that this person is having this reaction to this child’s, and his sister’s, rejection of gender identity theory speaks volumes about their own beliefs and how fragile they are.

In conclusion, I hope they’re fucking fired.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Unfortunately in real life a lot of these "positions" counselors and mandatory reporters and what not, don't really work. I've seen it many times. You'll have the parent who is by all intents and purposes abusive in some way and the kid complaining about it. But few people will take the kid seriously because often when the parent is a practiced and experienced narcissist they are extremely good and deflection, narrative control, and flipping the narrative against whomever is making the accusation. And it's very easy to do that against kids since they often lack the experience and shall I say "political knowhow" to navigate these issues diplomatically.

I completely agree with the kid in this case. Which frankly is quite nice to hear that the fucked up kids raised this way still ultimately come around to know the truth. But the kid accusing the parents of being horrible is going to be ignored because all teenagers do this, and the narcissistic parents will flip that around with crocodile tears about how they don't know how their kid could have been so I grateful when they sacrificed so much for them and other emotional appeals that will be more or less accepted by the majority of adults who don't see what is really going on.

The core problem here isn't merely one of the gender ideology but one of parents who do for whatever reason go whoring after whatever chic new ideological parenting approach or fad that gives them the social credit of being "I'm not like other parents I'm better" for whatever reason. These types of parents won't actually critically examine if their parenting styles and approaches are working, will bury obvious problems and criticisms with their chosen approach because it threatens their status as a "special parent". And ultimately they won't have to deal with the fallout from it beyond the estranged relationship from their children that invariably results from it. Since dealing with the negatives of the chosen ideological path is a burden born solely on the child to figure out some way to correct once they are an adult.

This will start to become more apparent from the gender specials in the coming years as you see here some of the first kids are aging out and rejecting it all. They are the first adopters more will be coming.

Around the 2030's or 2040's or so you'll see this come about with another experimental child rearing decision, homeschooling, as it was massively boosted by COVID policies in various places. Often with good intentions but like anything, but it shares many of the same problems with the enabling of utterly insane narcissist parents given a carte blanche to fuck up their kids however they see fit with zero pushback from anyone with the authority to step in and force course corrections when they lose the plot.

[–]LyingSpirit472 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

For the kids trying to tell their issues, especially in something like this- even more than the parensts knowing what to say, this can't work because a lesson every kid learns quickly is "people don't want the truth, they want what they want to hear", and it's only gotten worse since even news and culture has been calibrated to "what you want to hear": You want the world to be like this, so it is. Your opinions are right, your favorite show/band/etc. is the zeitgeist right now, and you'll find people who agree and you can form your echo chamber. The kid can't have their way because the person you told decided the kid was wrong.

As far as homeschooling, I doubt it will come about because of two big reasons: Homeschooling existed for more time than just the recent form and was still fucking up kids all along, and more specifically, the problems with experimental homeschooling directly go against another experimental child rearing decision that is just as ready for a reckoning: Anti-bullying and Zero tolerance policies (again, done with good intentions, but in practice has led to "Kids are fully aware zero tolerance punishes the victim too even if they let it happen, they'll use zero tolerance as a way to bully kids...then throw in social media means the bullies can bully a target 24/7, the victim is aware no authority or teacher will listen to them and will likely take the bully's side and blame them for it, it becomes clear to the victim "they will not stop. The bully will not stop until I am dead..." there becomes no other option to get out of it except taking the law into your own hands and saying "I can't live if this person survives. If I want to survive, I have to kill my bully.", they realize "I'm already going to be in jail for life if I do it or worse...in for a penny, in for a pound, might as well get all these other people I dislike. You can't give me MORE jail time than life imprisonment or execute me TWICE- especially if I end myself before they get to me"...mass shootings skyrocket.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah no I agree the situation in public schools is also quite bad and they are definitely going to end up messing up kids a lot there. Homeschooling isn't always terrible but there's a key difference between the situations.

In a school situation there are people around who are "supposed to" notice if the kid has problems. Like if the kid shows up half starved or with obvious injuries or the kid mentions their house is full of cat piss or something. Sure often times they don't notice the problem because the system is broken.

Homeschooling just means there's nobody to notice ever. Since you've already got the crazy parents picking it specifically to hide from the negative attention they are getting from school officials I think it exasperates the issue further.

[–]ClassroomPast6178 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

In a school situation there are people around who are "supposed to" notice if the kid has problems. Like if the kid shows up half starved or with obvious injuries or the kid mentions their house is full of cat piss or something. Sure often times they don't notice the problem because the system is broken.

It’s hard to hide if safeguarding is done properly. Doing safeguarding properly means keeping records and allowing staff to log all suspicious things without worrying that they will be told off for “worrying about nothing”. You might not detect it the first time a kid gets a black eye, but after the black eye, scratched arm, perennially dirty clothes and violent outbursts in class you start to build up a picture and you call in proper investigators.

Schools I’ve worked at have moved to a computerised system that violates reports about children so that as new ones come in the safeguarding leads are presented not just with the current cause for concern but all the previous ones too and they can start to build a picture up.

Homeschooling just means there's nobody to notice ever. Since you've already got the crazy parents picking it specifically to hide from the negative attention they are getting from school officials

One of the surest signs of some form of abuse is switching schools frequently. Schools are beginning to share their safeguarding records to prevent that from detecting abuse or neglect.

[–]LyingSpirit472 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

One of the surest signs of some form of abuse is switching schools frequently. Schools are beginning to share their safeguarding records to prevent that from detecting abuse or neglect.

Not only that, but aren't homeschooled students held to certain educational standards and the homeschoolers forced to prove they're being taught at a similar or better level than traditional students...and thus, if there's some abuse they'd have some checks as well? [Shit, IIRC if the student is not doing well in tests, be it "they don't test well", they have a learning disability, or even 'they're just stupid', that can be grounds for CPS to come in and cry abuse in a homeschool situation.]

[–]ClassroomPast6178 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t know what the rules are for homeschooling if I’m honest. I have some vague recollection that parents in England have to register and provide some proof they’re actually educating their kids, but I don’t actually know as I’ve only ever taught in the state sector and I’ve never done any private tuition.

I’ve met people who had amazing homeschool experiences with parents who gave them experiences that they wouldn’t ever get in private or state schools, but the weirdest adult I ever met was also homeschooled and it was clear that, whilst he was smart as fuck, he wasn’t socialised properly and he struggled at university because of it.