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[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That's been my impression as well. Though I think a lot of this idea where we "assume " the kid might be gay is basically playing into harmful stereotypes as well which kind of force the issue and identity crisis.

Now I'll fully admit hypocrisy here, as I'll do the same thing where I'll see someone acting a certain way and think "hmm yeah probably gay" but I think what happens is parents that try to push back against perceived "gender nonconformity" in their kid be that due to them thinking they are gay and attempting to "get the gay out of them" or them assuming that because their kid isn't acting like a typical member of their sex, that means they must be trans, that seems to me to just be as harmful. Conservative vs Liberal child abuse?

I don't really know why you'd do anything if your kid was acting a bit differently. Yeah your kid is probably gonna get bullied by the other kids. And you as the parent are supposed to help guide them in dealing with that. But it's not like you know your kid is gay or whatnot just because they are flamboyant or something. I've known a bunch of straight flamboyant people. I've met a bunch of non-flamboyant gay people. You're not going to figure that shit out until the kid is an adult. Just let them be a kid.

[–]Wanderingthehalls 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No one can tell for sure what sexuality a child will grow up to have. But there are higher levels of non-gender conformity in childhood in children who grow up to be gay. Back when watchful waiting was the normal way to treat children with gender dysphoria it was observed that most of those kids stopped wanting to be the opposite sex around the onset of puberty. But were likely to be same sex attracted.

That said, in my experience, all children are to a degree somewhat gender non-conforming because some of what adults impose as gender stereotypes are made up. There is no actual reason that pink if for girls and blue for boys. All babies and toddlers show a high preference for pink, because in utero, any light they saw was pink. Most small children enjoy rough and tumble play and ball games, not just boys. Most small children enjoy taking care of their dolls/teddies and mimicking their primary care giver, which means pretending to cook and take care of the house. But many adults tend to push children towards one type of play based on their sex. I tried really hard with my son to just let him enjoy whatever types of play and toys that he wanted when he was little but I'd still find myself reflexively telling him he couldn't have or do something because in my head it was for girls.

[–]Alienhunter糞大名 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The problem comes in when the kid hears that it's for girls then thinks "hmm girls want to play with the kitchen, I want to play with the kitchen, therefore I must be a girl." Or worse, the kid is sad and confused and then resentful of the fact they are a boy and can't do what they want to do because of it. Usually based on some arbitrary and pointless decision from the parents. That's why you see a good amount of transgender identification in more traditionally conservative circles.

Watch how boys and girls play and you'll start to see some key differences. Boys will play with Barbie just as soon as they will play with GI Joe. But they're more likely to have the barbie play soldier. Likewise girls might just as we'll play with the GI Joe the same way they play with barbie.

At the end of the day both toys are dolls. I'm certainly guilty of assuming that a child might end up growing up to be gay, but I realize that's my own stereotypes being used to judge what is ultimately none of my business and not something I should ever burden the child with be that in an affirming or disaffirming manner.

I'll only stray into that territory when it comes to bullying. I'll tell the kid why they are getting bullied and how if they can avoid it. But that's a lesson in peer pressure and social expectations we must all learn at some point