i wish I could've gotten just ONE girl to paint her nails for me IRL so I never became a porn addict. I remember when It happened: sophomore year of high school, it was the winter dance. I walked past a bunch of girls and they were all like "I'm going to paint my nails orange because orange is my boyfriend's favorite color. I'm going to get black acrylics to match my boyfriend's suit. I'm going to get blue nails because my boyfriend is obsessed with the color blue"

I remember thinking to myself, "these dudes don't even have hand fetishes. I'd KILL for a chick to paint her nails for me and these dudes are getting it for free".

That was the night I went online, went to r/LatinasNSFW and DMed every latina on "Hot" and asked if they'd paint their nails for me and take a video of them showing off their nails. I paid a woman $60 to get a french mani and send 15 pics and a video.

It was the winter dance and I was on my bed looking at the pics, tears rolling down my face, hearing those girls talk about getting their nails done for their boyfriends with their own money while I jerked off in my room to pictures of hands that I had paid for but would never touch. I dreamed every night since then of having a girlfriend and her willingly getting her nails done in MY favorite colors and designs.

It's been 7 years now. I'm still alone, still single, and still have not touched a single woman's painted nails.

I'm tired and hurt and sad and it's summer time now so every girl on campus is walking around with those painted white toes out and cool bright green nails with rabbit designs or sun designs or floral designs whatever. Every time I leave my dorm, I'm in mental distress.

I cannot take it anymore. I just need to become rich. If I could just become rich, I could break the idea of leagues and get an asian chick with long nails or a latina or any race of women that just hates black people for being black. I need to become rich. There's nothing left anymore.