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[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

RUN verystablegenius! RUN!!!

But seriously though, run. Run as far away as you can, as fast as you can because this will not end well. Yes she's hot; yes, 'she's drop dead gorgeous,' but she is untrustworthy and you can't build a relationship out of that. What are you hoping will happen? That everything will be ok? That love conquers all? That things will work out? Even if you don't want a relationship with her, what's the point of sticking around? It sounds like she's just using you for sex and emotional support. Maybe it's not intentional on her end, but think about it: things were great for you two at first; then she suddenly cuts things off. Ok, fine. But then she reaches back out to you in the middle of the night asking for sex? And she doesn't tell you about having an STD/STI whatever until a month in? For whatever reason (maybe she was too embarrassed/ashamed but it doesn't matter), not telling you before having sex means she values what you can do for her MORE than she values YOU.

"Is this a violation that would necessitate [you] dropping her out of [your] life?" YES, but not JUST that. Not telling you was a shitty thing to do, but someone who would use you for sex/affection (intentionally or not) is someone that will hurt you, repeatedly. She already has. Yes, she may be deeply sorry, she may be feeling incredibly guilty, she might not even realize that she's using you, but she IS. Girl, she's using you. She's using you to feel good. Unless you want to torture yourself, which it doesn't seem like you do, GTFO and cut her out of your life for your own sake, for your own sanity. It is NOT worth it. No matter how hot she is, SHE is NOT worth it.

It will be tough. It won't be easy. But it will be worth it. YOUR happiness is worth it. So do like you did the first time: DELETE HER NUMBER. Cut off all contact with her. Do not allow yourself to think about her until you're able to think about the situation rationally. This isn't about being weak willed. Even the strongest of wills will find this hard to break because it's about love, well technically infatuation. And being in an infatuated state is like being high on cocaine (https://www.npr.org/transcripts/301824760). It's not easy to fight; it's like fighting an addiction. So treat it like you would an addiction: get help, immerse yourself in social support, and stay away from any triggers.

I hope that didn't come off as harsh towards you; I'm just trying to tell the part of your brain that's super into her to STOP being so into her. You're not weak; you've caught feels. You love yourself enough to reach out to other lesbians for support, which means deep down, you're not ok with this. That isn't you being weak at all. You just poured your heart out to a bunch of internet strangers! You're stronger than you think. I wish you the best and hope that you can break out of this. Good luck!

TL;DR: RUN, verystablegenius, RUN! GTFO