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[–]paleolithicat 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think I got compared to males more frequently while I was closeted. Or maybe I cared more then. Probably somewhere in between.

I think on an unconscious level it was sort of comforting for me not to show a feminine side because being "girly" was considered as "doing it solely to attract males" and it invited all sorts of dumb sexist comments and opinions. When I came to terms with my sexuality, it had the side effect that I embraced my own femininity much, much, much more and stopped caring that it attracts males. I know women find it hot, as well, so why would I suppress my female sensuality because of men?

I still get it sometimes but I also think I have a more aggressive and upfront personality which is traditionally connected to male behaviour so it doesn't surprise me.

[–]whateverbeaver 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wow, are you me? I was never "butch" per se or even a tomboy, but man did I get more "feminine" when I came out, for the exact same reasons. It was like, you like wearing mascara? Then wear it. That doesn't mean you're telling the world you're straight, it means you like wearing mascara :)