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[–]votkriscan 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I've once encountered a slightly similar situation as you! I was in the process of getting to know lesbian/bi women in general from a crowd which leans older. And I've had a few tell me, "Are you aware that there is a 10 year age-gap between us?" But I'm in my early 30's not 16! They are in various stages of 40's.

I have some thoughts about this. For example, even though women in their 20's are attractive, I can understand why women in the 30's age range may not wish to be seriously involved in a long-term relationship with them. The first part is because that is the age where you explore life, enjoy it and figure yourself out. The next, and probably more important one, is that they have time to waste. Anything they don't want, they can start over, no biggie. But let's take a woman who is 49. How many times you want to start over? You'd be 60 by then.

However, as you mentioned, when it comes to 30s,40s,50s, the gap does get narrower, so it's exasperating for sure. So perhaps that is the angle? How serious are you when it comes to a relationship with her? Like do you just hope to generally be in a relationship till it wears it's course, or can you see yourself still wanting to be with her when you reach her age (longer-term view)? Maybe you can sound out the matter on that part.

[–]LenaScrpn1111[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yesss, you get it! I do not take relationships lightly, and I put my all into it if I feel safe and secure. I want this for the next 20 years as corny as that sounds.

I feel like I should write down all the possible obstacles. Menopause, retirement, illness. But I’m okay with it all.

It seems like this is something I can’t solve without speaking to her and getting down to the root of everything and going from there.

Thanks for your input!