I think all of this queer stuff is having a bad effect on me (possible trigger warning)

submitted by [deleted] from (self.Lesbians)

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 6 fun11 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 6 fun -  (11 children)

I was trying to lift you out of the victim mentality, but judging by your responses to the other replies you seem to enjoy it 🤷

[–]sickofit 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Dude, sometimes people are just having a rough time. You’re being an asshole. They already told you to leave them alone and in their other responses they already said that they found a therapist they want to hire. You aren’t some hero for telling some kid being disowned and feeling alone that they’re just choosing to be a victim. She clearly is not very happy about being a lesbian and telling her to just ignore it and shut up is a load of crap. Just stop.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I didn't say she chose to be disowned, I said she's choosing to have a victim mentality towards her situation. Read my first reply, I gave her some no nonsense advice but because it was not coddling, she threw it back.

[–]sickofit 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I did read your comments. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you think a kid feeling sad and alone because they got disowned by their family and are seeing a lot of homophobia even in the gay community is “choosing to have a victim mentality”. Believe it or not, being disowned isn’t a fun experience and telling someone they’re “choosing to have a victim mentality” for being sad about it is bullshit. Your “no nonsense advice” is you being an asshole, not you being some incredible protector of the truth. Stop.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I like no nonsense advice which is why I give it to others. I don't give it to be an asshole. You're just assuming things.

Btw, she edited that disowned part in.

[–]TalerTest 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

About a month ago someone made a very similar post which was later removed. I think people like this want a sympathy hug-box rather than advice. Speaking from my own experience, it's best to ignore them if you have nothing gooey and sensitive to say.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

She could also just not tell someone they have a "victim mentality."

Either they do, in which case they'll react poorly. Or they don't, in which case they'll react poorly. It's just a shitty, unhelpful thing to say to anyone.

[–]TalerTest 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I thought that was a fair comment. She gave OP some sound advice but it was met with hostility. On top of that, OP edited her original comment to add all of that 'woe is me' stuff to make herself look like even more of a victim. I don't know about you but I call that a victim mentality. I also don't like way OP assumes she's the only one who comes from a homophobic background and kept trying to use that as some kind of sympathy card.

[–]sickofit 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right? Like either way you're just insulting someone for being sad and essentially telling them it's their fault for feeling upset at all. What a crappy way to treat someone who is clearly already having a rough time and decided to reach out for help. All she said was that she felt lonely and wished she knew fewer homophobes and more fellow lesbians. It was clearly making her depressed and was hard to accept. But no, it must just be that everyone else here is spewing "nonsense" while this lady is the truth bringer.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lesson learnt 😁

[–]sickofit 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Whether or not you intend to be an asshole, you are. Insulting someone and blaming them for "choosing to be a victim" is such a shitty way to react to a person who is clearly struggling with homophobia in their life and having a hard time with their sexuality. Plus literally everyone on this subreddit is having a hard time with the state of the lgbtkjalksdfj community, or we wouldn't be here. But no, you're just honest while everyone else is spreading "nonsense", and anyone who disagrees with your behavior just enjoys feeling terrible. Sure.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know I'm an asshole, but I honestly was not intending to be one in my first reply. I told her to work on self-respect and learning how to value her own desires and care for her own well-being. I had no idea that would anger people. I don't know where your obsession with me thinking I'm a "truth bringer" comes from but you need to chill, kid. Like I said, I like it when people give me no-nonsense advice so I do the same to others. If someone only wants coddling words of pity, maybe they should preface their post with that?