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[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I mean you have to accept they this is in the realm of possibility in terms of solutions because sometimes people will not want to better themselves. We cannot advice you as if this isn’t one of the outcomes. We don’t have some magical solution to make you attracted to her or any other woman that gains weight. If anything counseling? But it’s perfectly normal to not be attracted to someone that gains a significant amount of weight. If this woman is your future and your steadfast you have to make peace with the fact that this might be who she is for the rest of her life. We cannot tell you how to be turned on by her body.

[–]HighPlainsDrifter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am pretty sure that there is a lesbian out there that has had my issue and they were able to readjust their world view or their thoughts in order to reignite their sex life. I guess I was hoping one of them would be on this forum so they could share what they did and how they helped themselves be better partners. If everyone just bails on the person they love because of a fairly common problem like weight gain then that just seems really sad and lonely.

[–]yayblueberries 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Unfortunately the average Internet forum is full of miserable 20-somethings who don't really have friends and haven't developed the understanding that sometimes you can and maybe even should keep somebody around that you aren't always 100% about. Especially as you get older. And that everybody has flaws; many of these people are enjoying the "perfection" that youth brings and expect everybody else to be perfect in their eyes. Society is pretty disgusting in this way right now. Way too idealistic while being overly negative and judgmental.

I get it. I wish I could give better advice than what I gave you down below, but I completely understand really enjoying somebody but one of their flaws just picks at you, but there's no real reason to just ditch them because of that one disappointment. Unfortunately, most people don't really care about others, expect way too much, are demanding, and go through relationships/partners like they do underwear. This is also why most lesbian communities are a disaster of drama between a whole bunch of people who know each other way too intimately without even trying to make it work in the first place after jumping in way too quickly (u-hauling isn't even a healthy approach to a relationship despite it being a trend in lesbian relationships).

[–]HighPlainsDrifter[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for this. Honestly your advice has been the best so far and I very much appreciate it. My partner is amazing in so many ways and leaving her because she isn't currently motivated or at the peak of her physical looks isn't something I think lends itself well to my ideal marriage. I am sure at some point I'm gonna be fat, or I'm gonna get disabled, or go grey, or get mentally down, or any other minor or large thing that might affect her attraction levels to me. I would hope that she would give the relationship longer than 9 months before deciding to go looking for someone new. People aren't interchangeable and while I have had exes with higher attraction or sexual connection I have never met another person who I connected with or fit together with like I do with her.

So, anyway, thanks, I agree with you.