this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2020

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How do you tell if someone is truly attracted to women?

submitted 3 years ago by ravenflies from self.Lesbians

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[–]Innisfree 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (0 children)

Some red flags in my experience:

vagueness in the language she uses when talking about her attraction, or the fact that she's never been attracted to women she met, just celebrities/movie stars
a one-sidedness of her worldview: saying "Don't you just hate men!" over and over.
focus on one aspect of a relationship to the detriment of others - like pda (this is the domain of the girls who used to ID as bi for cool points)
I've had quite a few times the look of incomprehension from so-called lesbians when I would bring up specifically lesbian experiences, like lonelinesss and the small likelyhood of finding a partner. It's as if these women realize deep down that they will always have the option of men and they just stare at you like: "What you talking about?"

But the thing is people are complicated, there's internalised shame and self-esteem issues and we do change and grow out of things. As long as people are not treating you like an object but show a genuine interest in you as a person, I think they deserve a chance.