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[–]beholdyourheart 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I went from thinking I was asexual, to bisexual, to trans/NB, and then finally accepted that I was a lesbian. I think I knew inwardly that I was gay the whole time but really didn't want to admit it. When I thought I was asexual I was still young and thought that because I didn't want sex that meant I was abnormal - when really I was just 13. A bit after that I began realizing I was attracted to girls so I decided I was bisexual because it meant I could indulge in my crushes on girls without the guilt that came with being a lesbian; I was convinced that 'eventually I'd end up with a guy.' Then I realized the attraction to guys wasn't showing up so I identified as NB and then a trans guy - again, because I didn't want to be a lesbian and I was GNC and thought that made me not a girl.

Then finally I admitted to myself I was just a lesbian lmao. It's so easy, especially as a teen, to wrap yourself up in these identities. It's why I don't like when people make fun of teenagers for having weird gender identities and all that - being a teen, especially female and LGBT, is super rough and people naturally want an out from all the sexism, sexualization, and homophobia. But I do think these labels can have a negative effect on people in the sense that they can prevent them from facing certain facts - in your case, trauma around sex. In other cases I think things like the oversexualization of everything nowadays and how incredibly easy it is to find porn can make teens who are overwhelmed by that build up an identity around it. At least that's how it was for me when I saw porn when I was young and thought that my disgust of it meant I must be ace.