Lifestyler/askgaybros - I'm scared to be called tr*nsphobic and lose all my friends :( how to

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[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm glad some of the responders are telling him to drop the friends entirely. In my experience, the types of people who pressure others into dating someone they cannot consent to are typically sexual predators themselves.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Unfortunately, they're mostly stopping short of pointing out the blatant homophobia, or empowering OP to call attention to it.

[–]wendyokoopa1 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same. I was impressed by that as well. I'm sorry I expected the worst from r/askgaybros given that it's modern day reddit.

[–]Empire_Earth 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I still can't believe how quickly straight people have taken up the idea that gay men should be attracted to women pretending to be men. Or that they should be attracted to someone of the same sex pretending to be of the opposite sex. Doesn't the idea bother them personally?

[–]pacmanla 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

As a heterosexual male, I definitely find it horrendous that you have straight men shaming & trying to guilt lesbians into sleeping with them. I feel the same with women during the same to gay men. As far as the attempt into shaming & guilting straight people into being into "identities" & not sex, yeah, that ain't happening & they know it. Doesn't matter how much trans billionaires pour into this nonsense, it's not happening. The heterosexual men & women harassing the LGB community, is weird & strange to me as well. I sorta get the straight dudes larping as lesbians (classic predator behavior of getting off on making women uncomfortable), but the women shaming gay men into wanting vagina, I sorta don't get. Women don't have any problems getting a man & there are plenty of men more than willing to "take the vagina". So why force it on the group of men who's not interested & can't be? Narcissism? I honestly don't know.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I assume the testosterone use and crushing psychological need for external validation are factors here. As a heterosexual women, I don't 'get' the desire for gay men (or anal sex, for that matter). Yes, a lot of gay men are objectively attractive, but to me, gay guys are just an automatic 'no-go'. I can't even envision how that dynamic is supposed to work.

I guess a lot of these people (likely teenagers) are just immersed in a fantasy world of yaoi or whatever (I don't really follow manga and anime, but I'm aware it's a factor) and completely detached from reality.

[–]Wanderingthehalls 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The kid is only 16. I hope he is able to talk to one or both of his parents and they can actively help him enforce his boundaries. I know at his age, your friends can feel so much more important than family but really, a good supportive family could make all the difference here. If his parents are the type of people he can go to and who can help him understand that his 'friends' are trying to break through his normal and natural boundaries then they can help him enforce them. And help him through any backlash he may get from these terrible friends.

In fact maybe his parents could talk to his 'friends' parents if they know each other. Because the friends parents might also be able to reign in some of this shit and make the friends know how awful their actions are or support the two friends who recognise how inappropriate the whole thing is to support this boy more openly.

And to get the other kids to realise how utterly awful they are being. I know if my child was trying to push another kid to date a third when they weren't interested, I would want to know so I could make them understand that they needed to stop. That the mental health issues of the transkid were not the responsibility of a another child to ease. That it wouldn't even be possible even if the OP was attracted to the transkid. Nobody can fix someone else's issues like that and all the friends are doing is making everything worse by creating false hope and eventual resentment.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee~=[,,_,,]=^_^= 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Don't click on the link to the phallo sub if you dislike being nautious.

Also that poor kid the only way he is going to get out of that without being labelled a bigot and bullied is if he finds an actual boyfriend so they will leave him alone.

[–]wendyokoopa1 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know this might not be the same but I think it's similar. This story actually comes courtesy of my life from my mom. I love my mom to pieces honestly she's an amazing woman. But like all moms she's got her flaws. One of her flaws is that she's a huge bleeding heart liberal. Like we're talking to the point where not being attracted to someone and being rude to get your point across is racist. Anyways thanks to the internet I've learned I'm not attracted to 3 major third world religious ideologies and people from that area. No biggie that's life. There are people that aren't attracted to fat people that's life. We deal. Not according to my mom at one time. Nope I was being very racist for not being attracted to them. Like da hell? Having an attraction and having legitimate reasons why you won't deal with someone kindly in a social situation is racist?(sadly rudeness and abuse are sometimes the only way to get your point across) da hell? You can't force someone to date you gas lighting, throwing out words like phobic, bigot, etc wins nothing. Eventually mom finally backed off and we dropped the issue. Although in a twist I won't tell her she finally got why I avoid the men I talked about like the plague. But off topic. Like someone further down in that thread said what is it with people and their complete lack of boundaries.

[–]HereStill 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's horrible seeing how the recent pushes for kids to be clear about their boundaries and call out manipulative behaviors all backslides as soon as the one harassing someone is trans