Gay MenThe irony of these woke handmaidens demanding their own spaces

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[–]Dromedary 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's really sad and gross -straight people overtaking gay spaces- but I can't cry too hard when gay millennial men and younger have been trashing gay bars as antiquated, obsolete, ridiculous places for well over a decade now. "We have Grindr now, Grandpa! You're such a dinosaur, lol!". As if their apps replace what gay bars once were- community spaces to dance and drink and gasp- you could make friends there, people you don't actually fuck! Plus fundraising, camraderie, a port in the storm, a local gay business. I can only speak of gay men in the US here- gay bars and spaces have been devalued and scorned by younger gay men for so long, it's hard to be upset when straights and blue-haired Qs and the Ts all move in. You didn't value it. You have your childish apps for ordering sex like a pizza. Good for you, because your dick is the most important thing, right?

I'm 52, gay bars have been formative, important, fun places for me my whole adult life until maybe 10, 12, 15 years ago. Many have shut down, (I live in the Hamptons where incredibly, there are NO gay bars anymore. The classic one called The Swamp shut down over 10 years ago, there was actually a memorial party for it recently, because it's so dire. Rich gays go to dinner parties as a replacement, which sigh, fuck me. Not the same, duh.) Yeah so, the younger gays just don't care. They think they're too good for gay bars, they think gay bars are for sad old men. So yeah, other people are going to move in, a business needs customers.
And the OP starts by saying he disdains the place and rarely goes except midweek for a drink or 3. Like, that doesn't count? Ok. Sad all around.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh yes, apps. I have used apps and they are terrible. Most of the men I encounter on those apps live in another county, or in the other side of the county I live in. I cannot drive because of my disability, so I have to take a bus or a train. And a bus or a train might take me to a city in the bordering counties, but not to other towns in my county, so I cannot access most of the men in my county. If there was a gay bar in my town, I could walk there, meet other gay men and get to know them.

On top of that, if you don’t like the look of a guy on the app, you ignore him. I’m guilty of this myself, but it’s hard to strike up a conversation with someone on an app unless you like this person's appearance. And if you do see a man you like, you won’t get a response if he doesn’t like your appearance. And even if you do look handsome, all it takes is a bad photo to ruin it. And a lot of photos are fake anyway. Meeting people in real life shows you authenticity, and humanity. You see these people are people. Apps don’t have that human connection. Sadly, young gay millennials and zoomers have blindly welcomed in the Digital Age without any concern for potential negative affects. And it shows by their shortage of empathy for other human beings.

I get that apps like Grindr and Scruff are great if you live in a rural area and you can drive, or if you live in a homophobic area and you want to keep it on the down low. But these apps are not supposed to replace gay bars, they are supposed to compliment them. If a gay bar opens up in my town, I will be spending a lot of time in there.