Sure. I'll concede that whoever it was shouldn't have used the word 'all', but even when we leave out the word 'all' we still get 'not all men' as a response most of the time. If the statement had simply been 'men are assholes', sans the word 'all' would your reaction have been any different?

My point is that you jumped directly to being offended, like most men do when they hear that phrase, instead of trying to understand why women say it so often or why we hate hearing 'not all men' every time we want to vent about the suffering we've endured at the hands of men specifically.

I read an account (which was posted here I think) of a detrans female therapist who was paired with a male patient who had been abused by his mom and had a distrust of women as a result. The therapist was trying to get him reassigned to an actual man that he'd feel comfortable with, and her boss was being an asshole about it. I would never tell him 'not all women are bad' because I know full well, given his trauma and experiences, he doesn't want to hear that for good reason, even though it's true. It doesn't matter that I'm a 'good' woman and 'haven't done anything wrong'. His trauma and anger is not an attack on me personally. The therapist felt the same way. It did not matter that she was harmless and wouldn't hurt him. He didn't trust her because he could tell she was female.

The same applies to women who have been abused, raped, harassed, etc. I don't think either of those situations are comparable to gender specials on twitter who bitch about 'cis' people. The blue haired people's "oppression" is, most of the time, completely fabricated. Whereas being a victim of child abuse or misogyny is very real.

With that being said I wholeheartedly agree that some radfems are very TRA like and hypocritical. I've seen them use the same TRA rhetoric while claiming to be different or better than them. Just as I think men need to be more receptive and understanding to women's issues, I think quite a few radfems would benefit from looking at themselves, what they say, and how they say it. I got into a spat with a few of them a while ago because someone pointed out their hypocrisy with how they talk about transwomen in particular, and they didn't take it well.

Lots of 'you're trying to silence me!!' just like a TRA screaming 'you're erasing my existence!!'. It was very very strange. You're not alone in noticing that. Which is why I think you're right to be upset at getting essentially yelled at and weren't told anything helpful.