Thing is, the only reason to know someone's preferred name/pronouns is if they tell me, which instantly makes it my business whether I want it or not.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that I have never considered asking someone what their gender/pronouns are because I make a point to mind my own business. And I honestly don't even want to know. I don't need anyone else's problems.

It's the gender obsessed who need to stop telling everyone their business. No one cares about your gender until you make a point to tell them.