up till the age of twenty I had no interest in dating people who had different genitals than me

Cool. Stop there. It’s fine, you’re a lesbian and start to get over what makes you think you need to work through that.

but then when I was 21 I moved into this queer commune

…weird way of saying I joined a cult / got conversion therapy.

and I wanted to unlink this concepts, because I wanted to be able to respect and see all of the trans people around me

Sucking dick really isn’t needed to respect people. And why would want to respect the people trying to make a lesbian suck dick, anyway?

And once I started doing that and was able to think about dick in isolation not connected to men…I started to feel like…that would feel good tho, huh.

Uh.

Sorry for that dissection, but it really pisses me off.

At the same time I wonder how women like her even „work“…there’s clearly a lot going on there, so I can’t feel anything but sorry for her, but I’m not homosexual because penises make me vomit or something - I’m homosexual because I exclusively feel attracted to women as a whole and of course the genitals they come with. There’s nothing to dissect here. I don’t hold any notions and prejudices against dicks or any other male sex characteristics, they simply do jack shit for me. It’s what 50 percent of the world possesses and these 50 percent simply aren’t interesting to me in a sexual / romantic manner. It’s how I’ve always felt. So tying myself into knots to think about dicks in “isolation not connected to men” won’t do shit, because at the end of the day wether the dick floats in space or is connected to a woman’s forehead, it won’t change how my body responds to it.
So unless you could brainwash me into thinking a dick is an actual pussy, nothing is able to change that. I guess what weirds me out is how it’s never even mentioned what homosexual women are attracted to and solely focused on what they aren’t - sure shouldn’t come as a surprise - but it’s irritating how it’s never mentioned even apart from this conversion therapy bullshit in normal discussions about sexuality. It’s always focused on being “repulsed” by one thing and not you know feeling exclusively attracted to the other.