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[–]gadflyinajar 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

My(straight/maybe bi) girlfriend(bi) wants to be a novelist, (I'm also trying to write something) and I support her so much in it, but as she was describing the bare basics that she finally got down most of it was just "It's a fantasy world, but like this group of people are like the bad white cis people and this group is like the good trans people and also the former are capitalists. Also there's a magic system." She reads a lot of the "Woke YA" genre where everyone is trans and disabled. To be clear I didn't so much as complain for a second as she was telling me about her worldbuilding, because my job as her boyfriend right now is to support her and make sure she accomplishes what she sets out to do, she can get real critique elsewhere. Supporting the fuck out of her, but man, it just all seemed so copy-paste to me. Weird thing is that she's had an at-length conversation with me about my own thoughts about transgender BS and agreed with me, admitting that she and everyone else just goes along with the stuff "to be nice" but that she hides that she knows its not true. So she doesn't seem to think wokism makes any sense at all, but she consumes weird woke propaganda non-stop and her fantasy novel just lacks any sort of ideological nuance. She's smart as fuck I don't understand why this stuff is so sticky when people start believing it. Love her to death though, I just avoid the subject matter with her specifically.

[–]latuspodSuper Straight 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It isn't your job to be unconditionally supportive, and being kind should never come at the expense of the truth. If you need to lie to be kind then you aren't being kind. If she is to recieve constructive criticism from anywhere is ought to be from you.

[–]gadflyinajar 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

lmao did I say it was unconditional? Your reading comprehension needs some constructive criticism. I'd also be curious if you could tell me where I've lied to my girlfriend.

[–]latuspodSuper Straight 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

If you think her story sucks and you aren't telling her, even in part, to spare her feelings you are lying to her

"To be clear I didn't so much as complain for a second as she was telling me about her worldbuilding, because my job as her boyfriend right now is to support her and make sure she accomplishes what she sets out to do, she can get real critique elsewhere. Supporting the fuck out of her, but man, it just all seemed so copy-paste to me."

This is where you are lying, in my opinion. But hey if you don't see it that way then ok.

[–]gadflyinajar 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, philosophically speaking one could run down either ten pages of unproven ethical theory, or parrot one Christian platitude, and come to the conclusion that not only is "Lying by omission" the same as lying, but that "Not immediately vomiting every thought that I have the moment I have it, even if someone else is speaking" is lying by omission. THEN that all lying is inherently immoral, which would take either three more books or a cliche, while assuming I haven't ever heard this concept "Lying is bad" before in my life. I don't see why anyone should do this.

By the way, I do plan to tell her if her story is shit when it happens. "My job right now" is what I said, (Notice I am extremely careful with my wording) because the blank page is more important to conquer than the fucking circlejerk pseudo-moral bullshit involved in telling everyone that everything they do sucks all the time. The first shit anyone does in anything is usually hot garbage, and then subsequent attempts are better whether or not they received criticism. I just want her to build the habit first. I don't know if you've learned any creative hobbies, and I don't mean that in a condescending way, but rather I would be interested how anyone who has could disagree with this. Finishing things is how you improve, and since I genuinely want her to be a good writer, she needs to finish bad things first. If I wanted her to be a bad writer, you bet I would shit on it right out the gate. For context, I'm studying Math education, I say this not as a credential because fuck credentials but because if you think people get good at things by suffering immediate criticism then I would have reason to contest that.

Sorry for the rant, I'm very vulgar because I enjoy vibrant conversation, not because I'm internally denigrating you personally. I think conversation is allowed to be a bit spicy, so genuinely forgive me if it harms my character.