Chit-ChatSunday Social - open chat!

submitted by NutterButterFlutterStill waving into the void[M] from self.LGBDropTheT

In-between moments of righteous activism, we all have lives we attend to. What did you do last week, or what are your plans this week? Watching any good movies or shows? Go on any dates? Struggling with, or achieved, any major life goals? Survive any alien invasions?

Do you want to promote a new sub, or discuss topics that otherwise get removed? Do you want to introduce yourself, but are feeling too shy to make your own post?

Feel free to share here!

NOTE: our Rules are relaxed, but not gone entirely. Be excellent to each other!

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[–]gadflyinajar 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

My(straight/maybe bi) girlfriend(bi) wants to be a novelist, (I'm also trying to write something) and I support her so much in it, but as she was describing the bare basics that she finally got down most of it was just "It's a fantasy world, but like this group of people are like the bad white cis people and this group is like the good trans people and also the former are capitalists. Also there's a magic system." She reads a lot of the "Woke YA" genre where everyone is trans and disabled. To be clear I didn't so much as complain for a second as she was telling me about her worldbuilding, because my job as her boyfriend right now is to support her and make sure she accomplishes what she sets out to do, she can get real critique elsewhere. Supporting the fuck out of her, but man, it just all seemed so copy-paste to me. Weird thing is that she's had an at-length conversation with me about my own thoughts about transgender BS and agreed with me, admitting that she and everyone else just goes along with the stuff "to be nice" but that she hides that she knows its not true. So she doesn't seem to think wokism makes any sense at all, but she consumes weird woke propaganda non-stop and her fantasy novel just lacks any sort of ideological nuance. She's smart as fuck I don't understand why this stuff is so sticky when people start believing it. Love her to death though, I just avoid the subject matter with her specifically.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That sounds confusing and unsettling for sure. You are a sweetie for supporting her regardless. I've had a couple of no-go topics with loved ones along these lines, though not related to TRA stuff (yet). I hope the relationship continues to go well for you. From the sound of it she might be more willing to admit her true stance once the people around her are more comfortable with doing so.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Looking at it from the writer's perspective, It sounds like she just wants to go with subjects she's already well familiar with since she's just starting out. If she's a smart as you say then that propaganda/ideology she reads is just entertainment and/or inspiration to her. Example: I read a book about the after-death underworld(Diyu) for fun, which is distributed as a religious text. I'm sure many people do that with the holy books from Abrahamic religions. In some respects, it doesn't so much matter what exactly she's writing or whether she believes in it as long as she's writing and flexing that creative muscle. She's probably much more wary of the blank page at this point than whether she's making gender-identity themed fiction. The capitalist "bad white cis", and "good trans" are probably substitutable by Dirty Orcs and Noble Elves. It's the Fantasy, Magic use, and Moral battles that's the important part. She just needed some established archetypes and tropes and is grabbing them from the woke YA books. Copy-paste, like you said. Since you are bothered by it, perhaps you could suggest some other ones she could use instead from other fictional(or non-fictional) works that you know she likes.

[–]gadflyinajar 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, honestly this occurred to me recently but as sort of a feeling I couldn't place in words, that familiarity of it. You phrased it well. I'm pretentious enough that in my writing that I show my friend (who is WAY more into writing than me) for criticism, I pretty much subvert expectations nonstop. The book is satire, which is good because if it wasn't, I'm sure that constantly pulling the "lol THIS but different!" card with tropes would get annoying. In my own head I think I internalized "Why copy/paste anything", which has helped me a lot with making my story enjoyable (At least as far as I can tell, I try to be my worst critic). In reality, genre-fiction has tropes. I doubt I will be the man to change that. Maybe it's just that I don't get why anyone would want to be a "genre-fiction" writer, but I'll have to think more about that because the idea isn't fully formed.

While I am bothered by it, I'm not more bothered by it than I am excited to see where this leads for her. My internet complaint is just venting, and less even about her than it is just tiredness of seeing woke stuff everywhere. I get that it's juvenile to be like "UGH GO AWAY WOKE GO AWAY WOKE" because there will always be ideas I disagree with, but I'm just so bored of it all and it seems to be unavoidable. I think that's mostly what bothers me about it. I feel like woke stuff gives me a headache at this point. I think I'd like to just forget that trends exist and live in the woods somewhere with Amish people or something.

[–]latuspodSuper Straight 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It isn't your job to be unconditionally supportive, and being kind should never come at the expense of the truth. If you need to lie to be kind then you aren't being kind. If she is to recieve constructive criticism from anywhere is ought to be from you.

[–]gadflyinajar 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

lmao did I say it was unconditional? Your reading comprehension needs some constructive criticism. I'd also be curious if you could tell me where I've lied to my girlfriend.

[–]latuspodSuper Straight 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

If you think her story sucks and you aren't telling her, even in part, to spare her feelings you are lying to her

"To be clear I didn't so much as complain for a second as she was telling me about her worldbuilding, because my job as her boyfriend right now is to support her and make sure she accomplishes what she sets out to do, she can get real critique elsewhere. Supporting the fuck out of her, but man, it just all seemed so copy-paste to me."

This is where you are lying, in my opinion. But hey if you don't see it that way then ok.

[–]gadflyinajar 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, philosophically speaking one could run down either ten pages of unproven ethical theory, or parrot one Christian platitude, and come to the conclusion that not only is "Lying by omission" the same as lying, but that "Not immediately vomiting every thought that I have the moment I have it, even if someone else is speaking" is lying by omission. THEN that all lying is inherently immoral, which would take either three more books or a cliche, while assuming I haven't ever heard this concept "Lying is bad" before in my life. I don't see why anyone should do this.

By the way, I do plan to tell her if her story is shit when it happens. "My job right now" is what I said, (Notice I am extremely careful with my wording) because the blank page is more important to conquer than the fucking circlejerk pseudo-moral bullshit involved in telling everyone that everything they do sucks all the time. The first shit anyone does in anything is usually hot garbage, and then subsequent attempts are better whether or not they received criticism. I just want her to build the habit first. I don't know if you've learned any creative hobbies, and I don't mean that in a condescending way, but rather I would be interested how anyone who has could disagree with this. Finishing things is how you improve, and since I genuinely want her to be a good writer, she needs to finish bad things first. If I wanted her to be a bad writer, you bet I would shit on it right out the gate. For context, I'm studying Math education, I say this not as a credential because fuck credentials but because if you think people get good at things by suffering immediate criticism then I would have reason to contest that.

Sorry for the rant, I'm very vulgar because I enjoy vibrant conversation, not because I'm internally denigrating you personally. I think conversation is allowed to be a bit spicy, so genuinely forgive me if it harms my character.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I found Yankee Candles in my local supermarket (I'm in Australia, so I've never seen them anywhere), and I'm loving how it actually has a scent, as opposed to many scented candles that don't smell like anything once they're lit.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

An off-topic question... is Bruce Jenner's Gubernatorial campaign camp? It feels campy.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

That link actually went to a great little clip of Jenner shutting down a question about the fairness of biological males in women's sports. Worth the watch.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

His campaign so far has consisted of him boldly stating generic opinions while being trans. Brad Parscale, the guy behind Trump 2016, is his campaign manager.

The bit with the dog mad me laugh. Very Best in Show.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'd love to see the intended link. Sounds pretty silly from your description. Parscale is evidently a hot mess so that's a rather comical choice.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That was the intended link.

Edit: sorry, the reason I brought up Brad Parscale is that this type of media push is his style. The campaign staged this with TMZ and this is the method they chose to introduce this topic into the campaign.

Jenner is leaving Starbucks and I wasn't aware dogs were allowed there.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Sometimes people tie up their dogs outside. A lot of coffee shops in my town have a bowl of water out there and it's sort of expected. Could have happened here.

Thank you for explaining the reason for that link, it wasn't at all apparent. :-) TMZ is obviously not anyone's first news source, but I'm still glad to see Jenner taking that position. (Though, my vote would very likely go elsewhere. Fortunately, I don't live in that state.)

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lol, TMZ is trash, they'll do anything for clicks. I feel bad for Cali too.

[–]barnarnasis this tv show my friend? 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I forgot to go vote yesterday but the person I was going to vote for won so it all worked out :P

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sweet. I try not to miss a federal or provincial vote if I miss municipal ones and usually get the candidate I vote for or at least the party I vote for. When they inevitably disappoint or betray me is another matter entirely lol