This is such a good question and an important topic. Since I peaked five years ago I've been slowly coming out as a massive TERF to everyone i know, and i know a lot of people. But at first I was scared and confused. I first spoke on the subject with my girlfriend of six years. And then it was to my best friend, another lesbian. And then to my mom and sister. I trusted all of these people. I'd never really spoken on the subject before, and so I didn't do my best at explaining it. Five years have passed and I've written (in comments and posts on reddit and now saidit) and thought deeply about gender/queer/SJW bullshit, and I am now a better communicator on this matter. When I meet other gay people I am always curious to know how they've been touched by this issue. You can usually automatically tell how indoctrinated a person is based upon the way they communicate about social justice issues - it usually is a good barometer. so if you're wondering how you can get a feel for a person's potential stance, first go check out their instagram if they have one. If they post those condescending virtue signaling posts about whatever social justice topic, it's probable that they're indoctrinated on "queer" stuff as well. If there is an absence of this stuff, then there's potential that they're also resisting it too. This is a strategy I use all the time as a litmus test, and so far it's worked.

But...for people that you know already believe in this queer BS? This is something that I've encountered as well. In fact, one of the girls i was most recently dating was totally indoctrinated and extremely resistant to anything I had to say. She was extremely abusive and generally a terrible person so perhaps she doesn't count. It didn't work out, which is good. Anyways.... I think challenging someone so indoctrinated takes quite a bit of time. I genuinely believe that it can't really all be done at once. People need time to think, especially about issues they're extremely emotional about and that are a deep part of their "identity". If the topic would ever come up - i dont know how it would - it could happen in a million ways - one of the most important things is to act genuine without any hint of emotion or negativity or malice. You kind of have to play stupid. One way to do this is ask a lot of questions. "What does queer mean?" "what does it mean to "IDENTIFY" as a man/woman?" "What is a man/woman?" "what's the difference between simply being gender non-conforming and trans" "were you gender non-conforming as a child? and if so, do you think you should have been trans, and how did you know you weren't trans?" "would you date a trans person as a homosexual?" These questions make people think for themselves. And if they're receptive, you can add your own opinion. This has worked for me, and i have peaked so. many. people. in my life using this exact strategy.