There is so much "almost getting it" in the thread, while willfully ignoring the elephant in the room. Yes, genitals don't fully define a man or a woman, but there are so many other physical characteristics in play too. I think things like a penis or vagina are some of the most obvious things to point out, which leads to the statement of "well, after I get the surgery, you will have no excuse."

At the end of the day, humans are animals, which is something people forget. Like all other species, there is a mate selection process going on, and while there are trans people are definitely able to mimic some or many characteristics of the sex they want to live as, there comes a point where it falls apart. Sometimes it happens at that last step before people get down to the sex, when the clothes come off and you can finally see what is up. The accounts of transmen visiting bathhouses I've read about all see how much they can get away with NOT revealing in order to get sex, a la Lou Sullivan. Wrapping towels around the waist, not letting the man touch their crotch area, and using low/no-light areas are popular strategies. But more often than not, people figure out what's going on before that point. It's happened to me, I start to think someone is attractive, and then I take in more and realize I'm not down for it.

As with gay men and lesbians, being trans is going to limit your dating pool. It sucks. Sometimes it feels insurmountable. There ARE people for whom it's fine to date a trans person, I've met them in real life. Even then, there seems to be unspoken acknowledgement that this is not a run-of-the-mill straight (or gay) relationship. This is fine. A lot of these people dismiss those who are interested in trans people as "chasers" though, and they will not settle for anything other than a 100% USDA organic-certified lesbian or whatever, which is very self-defeating.

It reminds me of the gay dudes who go on about wanting straight men. That married dude who lets you fuck him every other weekend isn't straight, he's a closeted bisexual. But his "identifying" as straight seems to just put the blinders on for everyone involved.