It becomes an easy way to measure their own virtue. They may all be sinners who occasionally lie, cheat, verbally abuse, judge, lust, and hurt other people, but at least they aren't one of those "dirty homosexuals." At least they aren't one of those drug addicts, prostitutes, homeless people, degenerate hedonists, transsexuals, porn-purveyors, etc. They can make their own failings and character flaws seem small by holding them up to the supposed "flaws" of others, and therefore, comfort themselves with the knowledge that they might be "worthy" and "good enough" for God's unconditional love. They credit themselves as "working hard" for their virtue, even though much of their "virtue" might stem from a stable, loving, untraumatic upbringing that never left them with the kind of inner turmoil only addiction could sooth. Most of them will never experience same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria, and take that to be a sign of their own moral fortitude. With their own "sexual failings," they can either justify them if they fall within the approved structure of their religion (marital rape, having more children than they can realistically invest in) or they can ask forgiveness each time they "slip up" (infidelity, porn usage, lustful thoughts). They will never have to face the agonizing decision of choosing between a lifetime of lonely celibacy, a hollow, inauthentic marriage, or eternal damnation, but they will gladly judge those of us who do.

In order to remain in this delusion of "self-earned virtue," they must ignore all biological and experiential variance, they must look at God and wholeness as a trophy to be won for good behavior. They must look at the world through the dualistic lens of good and evil, saint and sinner, Heaven and Hell. They must tell themselves that when their Prodigal Brother returns home, Dad is going to beat his ass. They must ignore their own brokenness, which keeps them from believing they might be lovable even if they aren't entirely "good."

Religion is often just a substitute for genuine spirituality. As my favorite spiritual writer puts it:

"Many educated and sophisticated people are not willing to submit to indirect, subversive, and intuitive knowing, which is probably why they rely far too much on external law and ritual behavior to achieve their spiritual purposes. They know nothing else feels objective and solid. Intuitive truth, that inner whole-making instinct, just feels too much like 'our own thoughts and feelings,' and most of us are not willing to call this 'God,' even when that voice prompts us toward compassion instead of hatred, forgiveness instead of resentment, generosity instead of stinginess, bigness instead of pettiness."