Thank you for your response, I did not expect one so fast! I am an introvert like you, socialization is draining, and I have a tendency to stay in my room most times instead of talking to others, unless there is a meaningful conversation to be had. The moment I go in my room (which is a wave of relief in and of itself), I go from being exposed to others to a safe haven away from others' eyes and ears. And I feel so much better that way.

But I guess there are different types of introverts? Because while I do hate socialization, I don't mind being the center of attention. Definitely not all the time, but it feels good to be paid attention to, whether the attention is good or bad. I think not wanting to be paid attention to is social anxiety and not introversion, because the only people I have talked to that had fear of attention had social anxiety. But I'm no psychologist UwU. I think it's best to talk to a psychologist about this and see if it's introversion or social anxiety that you have.

I understand why you feel like this being in a heteronormative society, I really do, I just hope you understand it is not your fault the society is messed up, and you shouldn't hate yourself or your attraction for that.

I'm actually in a very religious and homophobic country, where if someone openly says they are gay, in the worst case scenario they will be sent to prison and let's just say it will not be pleasant for them after that. My family were homophobic because they were religious. But when I was in highschool, once we all sat down, had a discussion on atheism and they slowly became atheists, they stopped being homophobic. It was a process, but it was really worth it.

I have never faced discrimination in the family ever since. In public, if I say that I am gay, I will be discriminated against by the religious. But I still fight for gay people in public, and even get in arguments with religious people. So far nothing happened to me! And I'm not really scared.

At first, the reason I never hated myself and was proud of being gay despite being in a homophobic country was that it gave me no satisfaction to bow down to the homophobes and let them win the game they started. In this heteronormative society, gay people are discriminated against, by hating ourselves or wishing we were like straight people, they would win, they would get what they want, which is us wishing we were not us and changed to be what they want us to be.

What makes them angry and slowly feel like burning inside? Me being happy about who I am and rubbing it on their faces. So I never missed the chance to tell them how much I like being gay and wouldn't change it for the world whenever they asked "do you wish you were straight"

Yes, I have quite a ton of fire inside of me.

But I think that's easy to understand, imagine this, you are in a society where "nerds" (I mean overly studious people) are constantly bullied, and discriminated against (in my country, "nerds" are not bullied, but praised) and you are a "nerd" who cares about her grades and getting in the best university in that country.

They bully you, and discriminate against you, but you stay strong, and don't bow down to them, because you know deep down it's not your fault they do this to you. You shouldn't change and hate yourself just because they don't like you and the way you are, they should change and stop harassing you.

That's what happens to gay people, and you shouldn't wish you were different to meet the expectations of homophobes. It's not your fault they do this to you. You shouldn't change and hate yourself because they don't like you and the way you are, they should change and stop harassing and discriminating against you.

You only have this one time (YOLO?), so don't waste it on wishing you were like those straight people. Use the time to make yourself happy, not make the homophobes happy.

There is another reason why I am proud of being gay, but that is a whole different topic that can take hours to talk about.

I just want you to know that, to me, gay people are like gold, very valuable and others are just too blind to see this.

I mean look at gold. It's characteristics are that it's a soft yellow metal, an excellent conductor of electricity, etc. These are just characteristics of gold, and yet they make it so valuable. Without gold, things would be a bit boring don't you think?

Yes being gay is just a characteristic, but without gay people, things would be really boring. And who can change the heteronormative society? Definitely not straight people themselves. Only gay and bi people can do that. It will take a while, but let us gay people take each other's hand, and fight to make the heteronormative society as non-heteronormative as possible while we are here, even if just a small part of this society will change it's better than nothing 😊