Just because you're a "gay dude" does not mean you know more than those of us who are not "gay dudes". The people above you were correcting you, and telling you you were unnecessarily aggressive. Instead of considering their points, you arrogantly used your "I'm a gay dude" card as a way to show you don't need to learn, because you believe to have figured it all out as a "gay dude". You haven't figured it all out. You are a "gay dude", not all "gay dudes" combined. So please, don't act like you are the voice of all gay men either, you are not.

If you don't want women to make themselves the protector and voice for gay men, then take a few steps back and realize you are not the voice of other gay men either.

There have been gay men who actually appreciated us women's concern for their safety when "trans men"/straight women talk about wanting to do something to them, such as wanting to sleep with them or "experiment" with them. And they thanked me for being concerned, pretty sure many gay men would disagree with you on the things you have said so far.