Is Asexuality a sexuality or not?

submitted by EzukiRaen from (self.LGBDropTheT)

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[–]Wandering_Idiot 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Asexual is just the lack of sexual attraction, not necessarily sexual arousal. Some asexual are sex repulsed, and some are neutral. The sex repulsed asexual might not even masturbate. Those who are neutral, might masturbate but also have sex to please their partners or to have children.

One thing to keep in mind true asexuality has nothing to do with hormones. So please if you meet someone who is asexual or demisexual, don't tell them to go to the doctor to get their hormones checked. It's like recommending L/G/B to go to conversion therapy. Think of it like this, lesbians don't magickly become strait if they go on hormone based birth control, nor to do strait women become Lesbians. Nor do male body builders taking T suddenly become steroid ragingly gay. Hormones can affect your sex drive and libido but not your sexual orientation.

[–]hyunnahh 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (14 children)

demisexuality isn't a real thing lmao

[–]Wandering_Idiot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

It is. It fall under the asexual spectrum. Though I do have to say with everyone and their grandmother claiming to be one in the same way every girl in high school claimed to be bisexual when in reality they were just testing the sexual waters, does make it seem less... legit. But in the same way you have to fish though the bullshit to find an actual bisexual in your 20's you can find actual asexuals and demisexuals.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I'm sorry but demisexuals are simply normal people lmao. I know plenty of people who could use the "demisexual" label. Demisexual is bs sorry.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

"I know plenty of people who could use the "demisexual" label."

That is exactly my point. The asexual spectrum isn't exactly a large number in the population; however, historically asexuality has existed unlike many of the modern 'sexualities'. You are seeing the same spike in numbers as with young women identifying as trans men in historically unprecedented numbers. To many people are confusing emotional bonding increasing sexual attraction and zero sexual attraction until some sort of emotional bond. There are far to many lesbian/gay/bisexuals who have internalized homophobia and can't differentiate between suppressed sexual attraction and no sexual attraction. So they call themselves demisexual to make sense of it.

If you want to know if a sexuality is "legit" look at it's history. You don't see any of this moonsexual, gender non-conforming, pansexual; pre early 00's. Yet asexuality was mentioned in 1869 as monosexuals, and 1896 as anesthesia sexuals. The label asexual didn't become a thing until the 1960's. There has always been recognition of those who seem to have no interest in sex beyond that of those who chose celibacy for religious purposes.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Gays and lesbians call themselves asexual, not demisexuals before realizing their homosexuality. I've never heard of any gay person calling herself/himself demisexual before realizing it. But asexual I have. Demisexual is not a real thing. I said mzny people could use the demisexual label because it's like common sense. Lots of people aren't just into hook ups and prefer to have an emotional bond first. You're not "special" nor need a label for it lmao.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Bisexual is attracted to two different sex not gender or personality or emotional connection. Lesbian is attracted to the same sex not gender or personality or emotional connection. Demisexual is default to zero attraction until a strong emotional attachment forms. Just to be clear, I'm not attracted to someone's biological sex nor do I have any form of genital preference. When I look at a person I might as well be looking at an aesthetically pleasing painting. I see beauty but I have the same amount of sexual attraction to people as I do to a slab of canvas covered in oil paint. The issue I have with squishing them all together is it implies that bisexuals and lesbians just need to find the right dick. Or that they have zero issue with being sexually intimate with a trans person who might have conflicting genitals.

It's not about being "special" it's about realizing that grouping bisexuals and homosexuals with asexuals and those who fall under the asexual spectrum a.k.a. demisexuals is kind of insulting for everyone involved. Especially the homosexuals, because no amount of emotional bonding is going to make a lesbian ok with dick or a gay man ok with pussy.

You don't have to like it; but, asexuals exist. As I mentioned they have been documented throughout history. This isn't a random fad that's happened in the last decade but a persistent sexuality that seems to pop up across all races and cultures in the same manner that we see other legitimate sexualities; homosexuality, bisexuality, and transsexuality. This is something you don't see with the stupid micro labels; there aren't moonsexuals documented history, nor across race and culture barriers.

[–]strictly 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Demisexual is default to zero attraction until a strong emotional attachment forms.

I believe asexual people exist (people who are never sexually attracted to anyone). Your definition of demisexual here though is very broad and would include many heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual people as is not that uncommon for people to be unable to feel sexual attraction until they have a deep connection with the person in question.

grouping bisexuals and homosexuals with asexuals and those who fall under the asexual spectrum a.k.a. demisexuals is kind of insulting for everyone involved. Especially the homosexuals, because no amount of emotional bonding is going to make a lesbian ok with dick or a gay man ok with pussy.

Your definition of demisexual, defaulting to zero attraction until a strong emotional attachment forms doesn't imply that the demisexual person would have to be pansexual, okay with all genitals as long as the emotional bonding is there. For some people the emotional bonding and the person being of the right sex are both requirements for sexual attraction to be able to kick in.

If you don't want demisexuals to be grouped with heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals then you should narrow the definition of demisexual so it no longer includes people who are able to experience attraction. If you only exclude those who experience attraction pre deep bonding then you will inevitably categorize some heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals as demisexual too.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

What. The. Hell... What does that you said has to do with what I said? I believe in asexuality. I just don't believe in demisexuality or whatever that is lmao. I don't understand why you brought up all that genital preference issue into the table. And bisexuals don't hear that "you'll find the right dick or pussy", only homosexuals because bisexuals already do like pussy or dick. Oh, and by the way, if you read my comments on here, you'll see I don't want asexuals lumped in together with LGB. So I really don't understand you sorry lmao.

[–]hyunnahh 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Your reaction is the same as mine lmao. I tried to comprehend this person's comment and failed, and gave up trying to give a reply altogether.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I brought up genital preference because we are talking about sexuality; heterosexual, homosexuals, and bisexuals all have it. you can't really have a discussion about sexuality without it coming up. Without a genital preference we are essentially running into 'we are all non binary and don't care' bull shit. And yes bisexuals do get the whole "maybe you'll find the right dick/pussy and be strait" crap to, maybe even more so as because they are attracted to the opposite sex as well they'll sometimes be called 'confused' or just 'curious' and will 'normal out' in the end. I don't care about your other comments I'm not going to stalk your post history.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sexual orientation is not a preference.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Girl were talking about demisexuality. That's irrelevant to our discussion

[–]hyunnahh 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

And how is "demisexuality" different from people who simply don't do hook-ups and prefer getting to the other person first? It just seems like a special snowflake label.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"many people are confusing emotional bonding increasing sexual attraction and zero sexual attraction until some sort of emotional bond"

When I look at people I can see beauty in the same way a heterosexual person can see the beauty of people who share their same sex but with no sexual attraction. Yes I can form a sexual attraction after I form a deep emotional relationship with someone. Key word being deep. Not just a we got to know each others favorite movies, foods, and music; now we have sex.

Like I said too many people confuse the two and think "Whelp I don't like one night stands, I'm demi!" I've probably met around forty or so people who claimed to be demisexual like myself, yet only one seemed to actually fit the bill. It's a big problem with the plus part of the LGBT+ with this whole super-acceptance-your-sexuality-is-valid it prevents people from doing the soul searching/therapy/self reflection needed to help them deal with many of the sexualities masquerading as demisexuality; normally internalized homophobia.

[–]hyunnahh 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

no, the problem with the + side of the "LGBT+" is that they're mostly all bullshit labels made up by tumblr users that makes close to, if not, zero sense, demisexual being one of them.

the point of sexuality and sexual orientation labels is to bring across which sex you're attracted to, thereby distinguishing your dating pool. this is consistently seen with homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and even asexual and the original definition of pansexual. whereas "demisexuality" is an outlier. there's nothing strange or unusual or "queer" about wanting an emotional bond, in fact it's quite natural. many non-demisexuals requires a strong emotional bond with someone before feeling sexual attraction as well. but they aren't demisexual, because demisexuality in and of itself, doesn't make sense and isn't even exclusive to the label.