I've met and been friends with several FTMs in my life, and I can say that usually they seem like (young) women who desperately want to escape straight relationships and turn to gay men instead. Although homophobia and harassment isn't acceptable nor excusable, it's kind of sad to watch.

I have an online friend right now who is a FTM. Most of the time she is entirely reasonable and seems intelligent, yet every now and again she will insist she's really a man despite being non-transition, and claim that she has the right to be gay & that gay men are transphobic for excluding her. It's strange to see someone who is rational in every other way believe such things, and I get the feeling she doesn't really believe it herself, it's just something to cling onto out of comfort or desperation.

I want to convince her that she's fine the way she is, as a GNC woman, and she doesn't need to be a man to be worthy of a healthy relationship and respect. Unfortunately, I know such conversations would be perceived as "transphobic hate speech" these days.