Thank you so much for sharing your feelings, I relate to an incredible degree to always having an 'uneasiness' about gender identity politics even at the height of my leftist phase. The Cotton/Jockstrap ceiling was really what put the nail in the coffin for me too, not only feeling myself being erased as a homosexual man, but hearing countless horror stories from lesbians I know, IN REAL LIFE, mind you, not just the huge record posted on GC forums online. I have actually seen lesbians cast out and shunned by their communities (and if you're gay, you often don't have a family outside your community), in a way that mirrored what I'd see in the fundamentalist churches I grew up in, FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN SAYING THEY WOULDN'T DATE SOMEONE WITH A PENIS. This is real fucking life, I'm entrenched in the gay community after all these years and it's happening all around me. I can't really even process how fucked-up and backwards this is, I feel like I'm in grief.