Bisexual"I understand the argument against biphobia, but..."

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[–]BiHorror[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Also, yes. I'm aware of the issues lesbians have with bisexual women, although that "but" in the tweet just got under my skin.

Edit: The issue I have isn't dating preference, it's the whole "but" bullshit. It's no different to the whole "I'm against racism but..." or "I'm not sexist but..." And the only people who were actually calling her out for that were TRAs (or tra sympathizers). You can explain your point w/o that whole "not x but..." as a start. It's usually a giant red flag for people.

[–]motss-pb 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

The real issue though is that lesbians shouldn't have to justify their dating preferences in the first place. The "but" is only a red flag if they are using it as an excuse for their bigotry. This isn't the case here. Lesbians shouldn't have to fear being cast as bigots simply for asserting their sexual boundaries. If she had said "I'm not transphobic, but I understand the argument for lesbians not wanting to date trans women". Is the "but" still a problem?

[–]BiHorror[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

The thing is transwomen aren't women. How on earth is that comparable? It's not. Also, if we want to be helping each other out with all the TQ stuff going on, everyone should be calling out all types of red flags.

[–]motss-pb 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It's comparable in that shaming lesbians for having sexual boundaries, whether they be dating preferences or a hard-coded sexual orientation, is not ok in either case. Access to someone's dating pool is not a civil rights issue. And it's weird how it seems to be only lesbians' and gay men's sexual boundaries that are scrutinized to this extent.

[–]BiHorror[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

And bisexuals shouldn't be ashamed for all having opposite sex attraction, mate. People have a choice in dating whoever they want, but it can still be the very definition of x-phobic. If we call out homophobia (from TRAs) then we need to do the same within LGB when it comes to biphobia. It's hypocritical not to and don't say we don't do the same for the opposite. Because in this sub, we do a lot of that.

[–]motss-pb 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Dating preferences are not x-phobia. You don't get to call people bigots just because they don't want to date you. That's TRA level nonsense. Online I've seen LG called biphobic for not dating bisexuals almost as often as we're called transphobic. That's why we constantly have to defend ourselves online with "I'm not transphobic, but", "I'm not biphobic, but". Rarely if ever do bisexuals get called out on their homophobia toward gay men and lesbians. Even though nearly 90% of bi relationships are not same-sex relationships, this bias is not called out as homophobia, but instead validated as heteromantic orientation. It's a double standard. Can we just stop with this "date me, you bigot" villification of LG? It's not cute when trans people do it. Why should it be ok when bi people do it?

[–]BiHorror[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Some dating preferences can be phobic. Some will not be. With that logic, some racial dating preferences? Not racist at all. Whatsoever. As I stated before, people can date whoever they want but some of the justifications for it can be downright phobic (or with the example provided, racist).

"that's TRA nonsense"

Ah yes, because calling out shit is TRA nonsense. I didn't call anyone a bigot, I said stated that the broad in the picture and her "but" can be seen as a red flag. Just as some of you (because not all LG are like you) want to "defend" yourself, I have to defend myself right back for my sexuality.

Rarely if ever do bisexuals get called out on their homophobia toward gay men and lesbians. Even though nearly 90% of bi relationships are not same-sex relationships, this bias is not called out as homophobia, but instead validated as heteromantic orientation

I have. We do it here all the time too. But you know what I've barely seen? The opposite. That's double standard as well. When some Ls talk down to bisexual women and when people call it out, said people are usually replied with "oh, I bet you're bisexual" or some shit. So, can we stop with the vilification of Bs just because of some shit others did? How about that? It's not cute either when LG do it. So, what you're telling me is because of the choices of hetero leaning bisexuals, that's basically a justification to look down on homo leaning bisexuals? Do you see how fucked that logic is... LG can do no wrong! But bisexuals? Bad. Which is hilarious because you talk of bias but say that. LG is allowed to have dating preferences, and some can spew blatant biphobic shit but bisexuals cannot do the same w/o being seen as the big evil oppressors. Like, how the fuck do you expect me to call out homophobia when some of y'all don't even have our backs? Ugh.