People clock me as gay in the lower income area I live in because I dress in tight/flattering clothes. I’m not sure if I’m feminine enough for this discussion. Disregard if you’d like.

I’m in my late 20s for context. My childhood was difficult. I had more feminine hobbies and my friends were almost all girls. I’d wear my mom’s nail polish and try on her shoes. My mom did not like the fact that I was effeminate.

In high school I was a girly emo kid. I was depressed with an abusive home life. Being gay wasn’t trendy like it is now, so I heard slurs thrown every single day. It destroyed my mental health. I felt pressured to not experiment with makeup and clothes.

Trans started taking off in my early 20s. I bought into everything the community was selling on Tumblr. They constantly trashed gay people due to our ~privilege~ over asexuals and bisexuals (I’m not kidding). Felt like shit to the point where my mental health took a nosedive. I thought I had gender dysphoria. Everyone my whole life treated me like a failed man so I believed it. I was genderfluid for a little while. Then I thought I was a trans woman.

To make a long story short I’ve decided to accept myself. I’m not a perfect stereotype of a man. I’ll never live up to my family’s ideals of masculinity. I’m learning to accept myself. I’m learning that it’s more of a radical act to just be then to have a label for every emotion I experience. That’s my story.