The trick to understanding this is that they see separate things as related things. Like if you asked what made someone look "manly", many people would list off different physical characteristics. The smartass would say that they showed them their dick. The distinction is that many of the men in those online communities would also list off social and economic characteristics. So to them, there is a general manliness level for each man, and the manly man will have the good job, and the nice girlfriend, and the extroversion, and the big muscles, and the deep voice in equal measure, as though after every raise you get a thicker beard. :) So women become symbolic -- they figure if they can solve their struggle with women, it will magically solve everything because in their minds these are all fundamentally connected, and that if women thwart them, they aren't just showing their personal disinterest, but are causing all the other struggles.