God I'm so Sick of Talking About Trans - Remember Women's Issues??

submitted by Irascible-harpy from (self.GenderCritical)

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[–]RuminatingOracle 52 insightful - 1 fun52 insightful - 0 fun53 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I'm tired of it too. Told my husband I was maybe a radfem and agreed with GC and he jokingly said that he didn't know he married a transphobe. Yes, it was actually a joke and when I explained why I was examining feminism he got it. His answer was that he didn't know what I experienced as a woman so he had no place to judge and would support me in every way he could.

I first began my journey when I was trying to have a baby. I had two miscarriages and needed to use "the abortion pill" to clean out my uterus. This was about the time when pharmacists stopped prescribing these drugs based on their religious opposition in the US. I was infuriated- how dare these (mostly) men think they had the right to make women suffer? Without that medication that I could use at home, I would have been forced into a D&C (chance of scarring) or wait for the fetus to pass naturally (a horrific thought since I was mourning the loss of my pregnancy)

The injustices didn't stop once I got pregnant- I had to see an additional doctor because my age made me high risk. That doctor disregarded my health for the sake of my child. I didn't get sufficient painkillers after my emergency c section because Advil less than a day later should have sufficed and "was I really in pain? I was stigmatized by having anxiety problems in the past and my baby kept in NICU too long.

All of these issues made me finally realize that the rules are made by men and we have little autonomy. Like many women, I suffered other health problems that I was told were no big deal or that I was exaggerating.

I want to be part of a feminism that cares about me first, that puts me first.

I give little thought to trans people in my everyday life. I think they should have rights like everyone else and should not be persecuted for who they are. I don't give a flying fuck about pronouns. I do object to having hate piled on me for wrongthink for knowing that a trans woman is not a woman, and will never understand my experiences. There is something about natal women's communities that is key to my life, and I need those spaces to exist. Where I can admit that my first sexual experience was against my will, and i kept quiet for fear I would be blamed.where I can admit tons of other things and not be judged.

Sorry for the word salad- I didn't think I would write this much I til i started. I guess it needed to come out. I was a lurker on Reddit but I know it's time to start participating.

Thanks to all of you for being here and speaking your truths.

[–]RestingWitchface 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Totally agree! Yesterday I saw some idiot on Twitter saying cis-women are privileged and therefore cannot understand transwomen's trauma. Excuse me?! I've been through domestic abuse and multiple sexual assaults. I have been driven to the brink of suicide by my abusive ex-partner who took intimate photos of me and distributed them online without my consent. I have been dismissed, unnecessarily medicated and gaslit by the medical system which caused my autism to go undiagnosed until I was in my late 20s (and even then, the cost of getting the diagnosis was expensive financially). I have suffered "women's diseases" for which there is no cure because the research simply hasn't been done. I have suffered the severe side effects of birth control, which included 6 years of chronic pain, because I wasn't given the information I need to make decisions about my own body. "Cis privilege" is an insult.

[–]MezozoicGay 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

cis-women are privileged

It is very common topic among young transwomen nowadays, and seems it is came from 4chan and similar places. For some reason so-called otaku and b-tards are thinking that women have much easier experience and way to live than men, that everything is easy - women just need to smile and everyone will give them everything, and so on. I am not sure why they have such beliefs, I suppose they just never saw real woman.

And I actually started peaking when my ex-boyfriend became TiM and was saying that he is now "a better woman" and "women life is so easy".

[–]RuminatingOracle 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

We make it look easy because we are strong as fuck. They wouldn't be able to handle real women's lives.

[–]MezozoicGay 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

It seems that they aren't able to handle even men's life as a gay.

[–]RuminatingOracle 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wow. We survive all sorts of things, but god forbid you misgender someone and then it's "burn the witch"

[–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think it often takes a major life experience like childbirth to make one's eyes open. I think this is part of the reason so many young women dismiss radfems... they haven't "learned the hard way" yet. I definitely learned the hard way. I don't think I started really facing reality until I had my child when I was in my mid-20s.

[–]gparmesan 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

there is just no denying reality when you're in the thick of pregnancy, birth and healing. I needed to get away from ridiculous "welcoming" gender neutral language that felt sterile and fake. I notice the most visceral negative responses to things like gender-reveal parties are from young woke kids, with no knowledge of how punishing and long pregnancy can be. Definitely a huge eye-opener

[–]denverkris 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"I want to be part of a feminism that cares about me first, that puts me first."

This. I get so sick of hearing libfems or men say "but feminism is about equality!" No, no it isn't!

"he jokingly said that he didn't know he married a transphobe"

oof. Sadly, my husband was the one who warned me, back when I was an "ally". Two years later one of the worst parts about this whole thing is me having to admit that he was totally right :/

[–]Irascible-harpy[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for joining us here. You've got some very importance experiences to share and we're absolutely here for your perspective. I'm sorry for all the shit you had to deal with in your reproductive history. I hope you and your baby are hale and healthy now. Your voice is a valuable part of our community and I hope you continue to speak of the challenges you faced.