All: Disclosure and Consent

submitted by loveSloaneDebate King from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]Omina_SentenziosaSarcastic Ovalord 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Should trans people disclose?

Yes.

Why or why not?

Because I think people have the right to know if the body part they are going to have in their mouth/vagina or the body part they are going to stick their penis in is real or the result of surgery or if it is artificial. Long story short, I want to know if the fallic thing I am sucking on is made of arm skin or it' s the legitimate thing.

And if so, when (and why then)?

The second there is talk about dating with the prospect of sexual intercourse: there' s no point in wasting your time with someone who doesn' t want to have sex with you, and there is no point in wasting someone else' s time if sex is something you both want and one of you doesn' t want to do it.

Is it a form of rape, sexual assault, or violation to not disclose? If so why and at what point (date? Kiss? Sex?)? If not, why not?

Yes, it is a form of sexual assault and violation because the person who doesn' t know cannot make an informed decision.

Any kind of sexual intercourse is a sexual violation if you don' t disclose your sex. Maybe an argument can be made for kisses, I don' t know if I would make that argument, but I can understand why that can be considered muddy. Anything else is a sexual assault.

Dating? I think it' s a potential waste of time, but it' s not a sexual assault.

Is not disclosing sex comparable to not disclosing race, religion, marital status etc? Why or why not?

No: while I do think that those should be disclosed if they are not obvious or if the situation makes it obvious that it' s important for the other person (for example, if you know the person you are going out with only dates latin people regardless of their skin colour, and you let her think that you are one, you are deceiving them), and that lying about them is deception, the things that are being lied on are not sexual in nature. I don' t have sex with someone through their ethnicity, religious beliefs or marriage, I am having sex with someone through their genitals.

Is it safer for trans people to disclose or not to? Why or why not?

If you are so worried about being attacked for being trans, tell the person you are seeing that you are trans in public so that there are fewer chances that that person might become violent.

I truly do not understand the argument that some trans people make about not wanting to disclose because it' s dangerous and then still sleeping with that person: why would anyone want to have sex with someone they might consider capable of killing them for what they are? Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who could be completely disgusted by them?

[–]circlingmyownvoid2 4 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 6 fun -  (5 children)

why would anyone want to have sex with someone they might consider capable of killing them for what they are? Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who could be completely disgusted by them?

Keep in mind I am pro disclosure but it’s pretty easy to see that it’s because they are lonely. Some people will be with anyone who will have them even if they are awful or cruel. When you know no one will have you, you can look past a little thing like someone thinking you are disgusting just to be with someone.

But again. Trans people should disclose.

[–]Omina_SentenziosaSarcastic Ovalord 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I know it' s because of that, and it' s not necessarily something limited to trans people by the way. I just don' t understand that state of mind, thankfully.

[–]circlingmyownvoid2 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

I think it’s quite common for us really. Like trans women who sleep with chasers even though we are literally just fetish objects to them.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I get what you’re saying. I think what I don’t get is why someone would sleep with someone without disclosing (opening themselves up to risk), when they could sleep with a chaser if they’re just feeling lonely? Like I just don’t get taking that chance.

[–]Omina_SentenziosaSarcastic Ovalord 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That' s a good point.

Like for many other questions, I think validation plays a strong role.

[–]circlingmyownvoid2 4 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

It’s hard to tell who people who are in that low of a place do things. But also chasers don’t want post op trans women. They just want dick.