storyendingnever comments on there’s no point living in a man’s world, suicide shouldn’t be so taboo

there’s no point living in a man’s world, suicide shouldn’t be so taboo

submitted 3 years ago by [deleted] from self.BlackPillFeminism

31 comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread.

[–]storyendingnever 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun - 3 years ago* (12 children)

Thank you so much. I am always extremely pleased to meet a kindred spirit. Yes, I'm not overly contactable, mostly because Wordpress is not known to be kind to women who a) walk two to three paths off the main road in their thinking, and b) generate a lot of traffic and discussion. Women speaking together without being policed by men is dangerous, I gather... I've seen a few prominent blogs shut down by the powers that be. And of course the sub on Reddit, which is why many people are here now. I only recently came over here, and have been able to talk to a few people I sadly don't get to connect with because of my no-contact/discussion policy on my blog. It is a trade-off, but this space looks safe enough (for now).

Anyhow, thanks for connecting. It makes me happy to know there are others out there looking up at a mountain we don't want to climb and thinking instead of other more pleasant environments :)

[+][deleted] 3 years ago (11 children)

[deleted]

[–]storyendingnever 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun - 3 years ago (10 children)

I fully agree about the brain. Creativity and questioning are undervalued qualities, and the latter especially is discouraged in so many places.

I'm so glad you had childhood influences and ways to find truth. I do believe in 'better late than never', but you can save yourself so much grief if you can peel the onion, so to speak, early on. Books can be true friends and partners in this quest.

Yes, I dream of in-person discussions with women who have freed themselves, or at least are on the path to freeing themselves. When I left China a year-and-a-half ago, I left behind a dear friend half my age who, despite our many differences, was a true sister. There was so much freedom in hours-long discussions, the likes of which I hadn't had before. I would love to have that again. Women are so cut off from one another. The intellectual suffering is very serious.

[–]trash_dakimakura 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun - 3 years ago (1 child)

When I left China a year-and-a-half ago, I left behind a dear friend half my age who, despite our many differences, was a true sister.

I wish I could have experienced something of that nature. I was able to bond with other girls even women on various subjects that we're passionate about (architecture, art, etc.) but I could never speak freely about my views on certain things, what I think of men and my opinion on the position of women in the world and it made me feel as if our relationships could never be complete. Even if I said something that's statistically true like men commit more rapes and crimes, they would feel uncomfortable and wanted to change subject. I can't imagine how they would have reacted if I fully disclosed some of my blackpills. And in the end, most women don't want to think about it. They're all counting that somehow their sweetheart is going to be different from the rest and they're willing to sacrifice so much in order to become a wife and/or mother. To which extent is it nature/nurture we will never precisely know but it is what hinders so many women from bonding. Sexual competition exists in both sexes but I think that the one amongst women seems to be more divisive than the one in males. And it's because of that that it's so rare and precious to find a likeminded sister, a kindred soul with whom you could occasionally discuss various issues without sugarcoating things and reserving opinions.

[–]storyendingnever 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun - 3 years ago (0 children)

It still astounds me that I even met this woman at all, and I wish everyone could experience it once in their lives. I know exactly what you mean about the state of denial the vast majority of women live in. They can't do otherwise and still maintain the relationships with men that they have. I'm trying to imagine being married or having a son, and the mental gymnastics I'd have to do to not kill them both, nevermind serve them and their endless neediness and disrespect. I mean, the fact that other oppressed groups are not pressured or forced to have such intimate relationships with a member of the very class of people who actively try to destroy them and their cohort on a daily basis (or at best just benefit from their harm), is very telling. Only women are herded into this type of situation and convinced it is somehow natural and good for them, and then, even if they manage to wise up, they are usually stuck there through breeding situation. It is quite rare for a woman to walk away from a child she birthed. It has got to be a hall of mirrors inside these women's head, seeing glimpses of the horrors of the truth of their lives, and then if they try to get a closer look, the light changes the reflection and they aren't sure of anything anymore. There are so many coping mechanisms needed in order to deal with male relationships. But denial is a big one. And the clichés and mantras that most women have at the ready when they are faced with cold hard facts that contradict their entire worldview are things they have heard from birth from everyone around them.

It's frustrating not being able to candidly discuss facts with women though. I've gotten to a point where I can tell the exact point in a conversation with a woman I don't know well where she is mentally starting to inch away from me in fear due to something I've said, and I know she will never speak to me again even if she ends the conversation politely. Sigh...

I've always found it interesting that males in direct competition can always bond over hurting women, but women almost never bond over the shared experience of being hurt by men.

[+][deleted] 3 years ago (7 children)

[deleted]

[–]storyendingnever 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (6 children)

I relate to you on the topic of being cut off and seeking, without much success, for fulfilling relationships. It almost seems like with every betrayal within a female friendship (i.e., female friend chooses a male, even a truly horrendous one, over you), something is chipped off you deep inside. I think I've learned to enjoy encounters or short walks together because to expect more is to doom yourself to constant disappointment. I think the same thing of the concept of happiness in general. I've been fortunate to lend an ear to many of my depressed college students who have been fed the lie that happiness is what everyone should be seeking, and that if you can't attain a constant state of being happy (whatever that means!), then there is something wrong with you. I tell them to look for moments - it works for me - a feeling of joy for 2 minutes can make a massive difference in how your day goes and can offset the other stuff. Yeah, I guess I have a real hard time believing in permanence, which seems to be what is pushed on people. It is so unrealistic. So if I meet an absolute star for an hour, that is something I won't forget. If I know them for 10 years, yes it would qualify as a miracle to me.

Your comments remind me of something I intend to write about soon - innocence, and loss of it. It is human to place value on everything, and so many fall into the natural trap of deciding whether something is good or bad (dichotomous thinking). And I've been thinking about this lately with regard to innocence, what it means, whether we need to lose it to truly learn and grow, etc. Can one lose something, but then find something better. You also mentioned another important concept: hope. Can you lose innocence while retaining hope? It seems to me hope is necessary to being able to function well, to thrive, in this world. That is one major theme I see in a lot of black pill writing - the loss of hope. I'm really looking for a balance between thinking all is lost and there is no point (nihilism), and foolishly pretending everything is perfectly wonderful (what I call the Cult of Positivity folks).

[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (4 children)

[deleted]

[–]storyendingnever 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun - 3 years ago (3 children)

I have to do some more thinking on hope and innocence. I think it means different things to different people (as well as in different cultures, as pertains to religions, between sexes, and across generations).

Your view on the role of religion and hope is interesting and something I also want to think about more. I have never connected the two, except in the sense that really desperate and hopeless people are much more vulnerable to religious influence than the more secure. But I also see hope as having an existence separate from religion. I've been very desperate and hopeless many times in my life, but have never found myself vulnerable to religion or delusional nonsense or a need to have faith in anything or anyone. I'm a rather hard-core atheist, and have never had any kind of interest in religion except from a psychological point of view, and especially as it relates to one of my special areas of interest: propaganda/indoctrination. I think faith is ridiculous and makes me feel embarrassed for people who achieve it so easily, but I believe that hope is necessary to have any kind of reason for living or trying to achieve something. Sorry, I'm kind of thinking out loud as I write here - I suppose, at least for myself, I associate hope with goal-setting, and it is perhaps a chicken and egg thing: do you need hope to set goals, or does having a goal give you hope? Of perhaps, they are just two very different and unrelated things. Maybe I define hope differently. Yeah, I need to think about this more.

[+][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children)

[deleted]

[–]storyendingnever 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun - 3 years ago (1 child)

Still thinking 'out loud' again. I'm wondering if you need hope at all if you have faith. It just seems to me that faith goes hand in hand with believing in predestination and divine plans, which means you don't have to put any energy in hoping for the best or whatever. Kind of like 'que sera sera' - what will be will be.

But religion is filled with hypocrisy and mixed messages, of course. So you get "You didn't pray hard enough." if something doesn't go your way. And then there is all the morality nonsense that is often tied to success - a morally correct and good-with-god person is one who succeeds in life and vice versa (this is very American, but it may happen elsewhere and in other religions besides Christianity).

I would have never considered myself a hopeful person, and am even downright cynical, but clearly there is something going on, because on some tiny level, I believe I can make good things happen or can see a flower growing in an otherwise barren space. Is that hope? I don't know. Maybe there isn't a good word for why I am not ready to die yet. I like big picture thinking, but I think I prefer to operate on the ground, trying to effect small changes where I think they have the best chance of happening.

Thanks for your insights. You see many things in a way I haven't thought about before, and I really enjoy that. This is clearly a topic that will be on my mind for a while as I haven't figured it out yet!

BlackPillFeminism

MODERATORS