How does one gain confidence to actually do something with their life?

submitted by Polar64 from self.AskSaidIt

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[–]Mcheetah 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I'm gonna tell you something someone wise once told me that I haven't really adopted: She said "true confidence" (not external fickle things, like being born with height, good looks, wealth, etc.) comes from a very long list of tiny victories and becomes a resumé of small victories you can look back on as the "success" in your personal life. Meaning, you gain confidence one day at a time, with tiny little things, and build it up over years, not just one great big victory, like winning the lottery, getting a high paying job, getting a hot girl briefly interested in you for a short time, or any other thing that's external, you didn't really work to achieve, or can be taken away from you at any time.

That's apparently the way to truly gain confidence: A resumé of little victories everyday, instead of relying on superficial garbage. Take or leave it. Do with that information as you will.

As for "why didn't you take her advice?" I'm too old and cynical to care anymore. 22 year old me would have, but I'll be 38 at the end of this year.

[–]rodmanii 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

taking advice from a woman? pathetic

[–]Zapped 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is a great advice and a better way of stating it than I was going to. Confidence is experience combined with being comfortable in your actions. The comfort usually comes with experience, and hence going through the process of all the little actions, and knowing that you can do it. Also, I had to learn that no one is as critical of me as much as I am.

[–]Mcheetah 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Confidence is experience combined with being comfortable in your actions.

That's a great way of putting it all into a single sentence. Thanks for this.

[–]Titanic 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Confidence means "with faith."

So, it is about: "what gives you faith that you are good or in control?"

relying on superficial garbage

It's not superficial. It's down to your DNA. It is scientifically measurable.