How to cope working with woke colleagues?

submitted by [deleted] from (self.AskSaidIt)

Those colleagues so woke they will commit to every cause, every agenda, every movement. They would bend over to an immigrant and give away their very existence to ensure a faggot is treated better than they are for the sake of virtue signalling nonsense. How the fuck can I survive working with imbiciles who don't have a single independent thought of their own?

all 32 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]SMCAB 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

Call Netanyahu, tell them if the building you work in blows up, endless wars against the middle east and aid from western countries will increase. Join Odigo and get the heads up, take the day off, and be like "What happened?"

[–]LarrySwinger2 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Best answer.

[–]SMCAB 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Damn, even before everyone gets a chance at it? I'll take it. I will go jerk off in celebration, since I'm not going to get a tangible prize.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

This could work, and I have time off coming up soon.

[–]Hematomato 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Is "Do your damn job and occasionally remind them that it's unprofessional to talk about politics in the workplace" too obvious an answer?

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Like vegans, the woke must always regurgitate their ideology onto the world even if politics wasn't on the agenda.

[–]jet199 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

The psycho vegan I worked with was like this.

She actually did a 180 a couple of months back and turned GC trad simply because she realised she'd get a rich boyfriend easier that way.

These people are completely mercenary. Following along with all the conflicting woke nonsense just means they can follow anything so long as it gets them what they want.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

It's the conflicting opinions that really bug me. In a 2 minute conversation they go from supporting freedom to protest, to believing people protest too much, to believing people protest about the wrong things, to believing protests don't achieve anything, to believing protest is essential so people can have a voice, to believing people don't have a voice, to hating Brexit voters because when people's voice was heard they didn't like the outcome, to believing the UK is inherently diverse, to believing the UK is inherently racist. I'm not even sure what the point of that conversation is.

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I believe the term is "so open minded your brain falls out"

[–]hfxB0oyA 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

They're searching for the right thing to make everyone like them.

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Mirroring, like psychopaths

[–]Hematomato 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Well, mileage may vary, but usually I find that after I give someone a calm, lengthy, and thorough lecture about the merits, importance, and virtue of professionalism, they don't want to talk to me about anything anymore.

And then I can do my job.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's best when people leave me alone entirely, professional or not. It's better this way. 🙏

[–]jet199 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Just catfish them online as a sexy minority woman and take all their money as reparations.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

They're incredibly anti-british, so would probably fall for this. How minority should the catfish be to entrap the woke numpty?

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Inuit

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

😄

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I actually know a guy this happened to..

He was chatting with an African woman for months and then suddenly she stopped contacting him. So he called her and asked why and she said her computer had broken so she couldn't get online any more but she really really didn't want him to pay for a new one.

Forward 6 months and his family literally had to hold him down to stop him sending her yet more thousands.

[–]LarrySwinger2 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Convince them that they can raise funds for some charity by crouching instead of walking for a few days, surely they will do it.

[–]Musky 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Hang up a Killdozer poster in your work space to establish dominance.

Send your co-workers spicy memes.

Pass gas in the elevator on purpose.

Start talking like Balky.

Introduce them to your new xenopronouns: Duke Nukem / Snake Plissken.

Make your co-workers watch an hour long PowerPoint presentation on how to use your xenopronouns correctly.

Become a part time pescatarian and reheat all your meals in the break room.

Buy donuts every morning for your coworkers but only pick up a flavor nobody likes.

Squint randomly at people when they talk you for no reason at all.

Show off your pet raccoon pictures and share stories about its antics, even though I am fairly certain you do not own a raccoon.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

😂

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Make Trans Black Lives Matter your desktop background to virtue signal harder than they ever imagined

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Then come to work in a dress but don't change your appearance in any other way.

[–]IkeConn 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Keep your mouth shut and maintain a low profile. Never commit to any opinion. If they press you simply tell them that you do not discuss religion or politics at the office. Don't give them ANY insight to your personal life. Oh and watch for Scotts-Irish redneck women. They'll stab you in the back to get ahead.

[–]ActuallyNot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Two approaches spring to mind.

Have you tried congratulating them on their care for their fellow man?

Failing that, have you tried not caring?

[–]ID10T 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Tsk tsk, using the language of the cisheteronormative patriarchy. Don't you mean fellow persons? You just committed a misgendering of the highest order. You are a thought criminal. Straight to jail with ye!

[–]ActuallyNot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Deep, man.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Honestly I'm surrounded by woketards at work too. I don't outright agree with them but if they say some dumb liberal shit to me with that "I need you to agree with me" tone, I just sort of acknowledge their fee-fees without saying I agree or disagree.

Be emotionally unavailable and non committal. That's it. I find it becomes super easy to go about your day when you realize how stupid these people are, because it makes work more of a joke instead of something to be taken seriously.

I realized most of them are deeply wounded people who want to be coddled and mask their narcissism with the woke "I care" agenda. Basically, they're still toddlers and it's kinda funny.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Be emotionally unavailable and non committal. That's it.

This is good advice, both practical and easily enforceable.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Its kinda hard if you’re a sensitive faggot like I am though. I have to constantly work at it.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, this dumb fuck thinks he can get me fired by winding me up but I don't let it get to me. I've seen this sort before, they end up making themselves look like an ass and will probably get fired themselves for incompetence. I can't tolerate those who are willfully idiotic for long, they are infuriating.

[–]Mcheetah 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Easy. You don't work with them. If your company hired them, then that says more about management than anything else.