What have you recently done or are currently doing that you are exited about?

submitted by Zapped from (self.AskSaidIt)

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Nothing, because I have so little talent that I cannot do anything at all. And it gets worse, not better. And contrary to popular belief, no, "practice" only sharpens the sword; everything else is what you're born with. Heck even happiness is more genetic than environmental, and certainly not a choice; and I wasn't blessed in this area either. Even worse, I'm entirely alone, because there's not a single other person on this planet in all of history in this situation, and ALL, and I mean ALL, like-minded people and friends are among the biggest geniuses ever, where anything they want to do comes easily and quickly to them. On top of that I have every single mental illness known to man, and some that I know only I have ever had. And the people around me are the kind that can't handle seeing someone struggle and get offended and feel threatened whenever I'm "negative" or show any hint of dissatisfaction, so all my life I've had to perfect the art of making sure I look joyful at all times, and my needs are never ever addressed.

This is why I kind of see where eugenicists are coming from. I don't want any more people like me to have to live.

[–]Zapped[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

The stuff you do here to help moderate/admin and the ideas and thoughts you throw around in the discussions? Please. You have plenty of talent. Everybody lives in their own universe that no one else sees. It has been said that there are 3 sides to every person: the first is what you think, the second is what you do, and the third is what everyone else sees. Everyone is different and unique and no one can truly live in your head.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Soon I probably won't even be able to do that anymore, because my mind seems to be decaying. "We're all unique," so some are amazing at everything with no effort, while others can't do anything no matter how hard they try!

A common theme in my life is that I'm left out of everything, by no ill-will of those who get to have what I'm missing. This is one such case. They are able to produce pretty much anything they want easily, and I can't no matter how much work I put into it. They don't like that I'm stuck like this, but they can't change it. There are other examples. Most of my online friends tend to get chosen for elitist groups, with me being the only one of them left out. This has happened countless times. Again, they feel sorry for me, but the decision wasn't up to them. In real life, all my friends have last names close together in the alphabet, with me as the only exception; so in school or at work or anywhere with alphabetical order, they'd all be together and I'd be the only one left out. Again, not something we can change. And this whole theme is only one example of the many ways in which my life seems to be a cruel joke. It's bad enough not being able to do what you love; it's even worse when you're completely alone in that regard. No one understands, heck most people don't even believe me.

[–]Zapped[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The glass half empty view. Don't think about what you are excluded from or don't have or aren't good at. Make a list of things you are good at and you do have and you are included in and what you are grateful for.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not good at anything. At the very least I'm no good at anything I actually like. And the the kind of things I like to do, I HAVE to be good at them to enjoy them. To top that all off, I have autistic special interests, so I get depressed when I can't engage in them. I can't be content just sitting around doing nothing, or doing something I'm not interested in.

I'm stuck in a lose-lose situation. I was just doomed from birth. Heck, I'm predisposed to unhappiness itself genetically, and nothing can ever change that.

THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME.