In a way, I think the answer is partially contained in your question. I think the focus should absolutely be on equality of opportunity, not equality of outcome. How do we guarantee equality of opportunity? Well, the US constitution is a pretty good foundation. Government needs to reduce its existence considerably and get out of everyone's way. And we should probably stop pretending that a crime has been committed if there is no victim.

Let's just say everyone ought to be free to do whatever they want, until it immediately and directly causes harm to the person, Property, or rights of another. The golden rule: Do No Harm.

Of course, human nature tends to get in the way of utopian ideals.