Hi, I’m very new here. Like, JKR’s tweet-new here. I am still familiarizing myself with all the preferred terminology (gee, I seem so nervous to say the wrong word…wonder where that came from?!), so please excuse me if I make an errors. I’m still learning, still developing my feelings and knowledge on the subject.

I’ve always considered myself a trans ally. I know that I must’ve uttered the phrase, “trans women are women” (though, strangely, never felt pressured to assert that “trans men are men”, which seems to be the norm). I didn’t really have a problem with the idea of a trans woman using the same changing space or bathroom as myself. I didn’t think too deeply about it. When J.K. Rowling first tweeted re: “People who menstruate? Wasn’t there a name for that?” I sort of laughed it off. I thought, what’s the harm in making the distinction? What’s the harm in using this ‘inclusive’ language?

Then the shit hit the fan… legions of TRAs attacking her online. The Harry Potter subreddit was overtaken by dramatic trans individuals vowing the throw away their books, burn their HP paraphernalia, and to get their Deathly Hallows tattoos covered. Calling JKR “Voldemort”. Wishing violence on her. Allies in the HP sub said things like, “if your head cannon includes Hermione and Ginny being MtF, I SEE YOU. YOU ARE VALID.” Hmph, I thought. Why can’t Hermione and Ginny just be badass women? Biological women. NATAL women (I quite like that term).

Then JKR doubled down with her essay on the subject. I started reading it with the expectation that I’d come to realize she actually is ‘transphobic’, and perhaps off her rocker. Out of her depth. However, as I read…it made sense. It put into words some nagging feelings I’d started to have myself, feelings inspired by the behavior of TRAs in many online forums. She was putting into words the feelings of being pushed out of my own space, space in which there was already scarcely enough room for myself and my young daughter in. Space in which “woman” and “women” became replaced with “CISwoman” and “womxn”. When did my biological sex become a dirty word? Or, rather, why has it never stopped being a dirty word?

I started doing a bit of research. I found the GC subreddit. I spent a few days reading and learning. Identifying with feelings and experiences. I started speaking to my sister on the subject, and found that she was already a radfem. She’s spent years developing her knowledge on the subject and became a great sounding board for my thoughts and questions.

Then GC was banned. What??! How?? Why!?? More and more research and I was starting to see a pattern. Women’s voices and safety and spaces don’t matter as much as a trans woman’s. The disgusting subreddits promoting violence against women still stand. The incel echo chambers still stand. THEN… The r/PCOS subreddit fiasco. A medical condition that can only affect WOMEN… and we can’t even say that. Because it might trigger someone. Are you f$cking kidding me? If you are a trans man and you are affected by PCOS and you go onto a PCOS support forum, it should be common sense that there will be ‘triggering’ language such as “women” in that forum. But, since 99.99% of the sufferers of PCOS identify as women, I think that’s a risk you have to take when reading through posts. Not conducting a witch hunt because your feelings got hurt at ‘exclusionary wording’. Now I’m rambling.

Anyway, happy to be here. Happy to learn.