You need an attitude adjustment. Both people who responded to you in an attempt to help? You responded angrily by implying they didn't understand you and were being jerks.

Your response was basically, "This isn't what I hoped to hear!" Tough shit. What you hope to hear is 100% unrelated to what you ought to hear.

You have a separate, entirely different problem from the one you were asking about:

You're a sensitive flower who, at the first sign that someone maybe doesn't entirely agree with you or understand what you mean, decides they're an asshole.

You look for the worst in people.

That's a FAR bigger problem than your arousal in response to trans porn.

You're not ever going to get help if you assume the worst of every person who tries to help you. You managed to angrily misinterpret two separate people and only apologize once they explained themselves further.

It would have been a lot simpler if you'd skipped the "angrily misinterpreting them" part and gone straight to the "carefully considering what they might actually be saying" part.

Deal with your propensity to think the worst of people who are trying to help you. That's a bad tendency. Then work through your kink related to "girldick".

Being aroused by trans porn may mean you're a person with a destructive kink, but assuming the worst of anyone who tries to help means you're being a shitty person.

Real ethics aren't about agonizing over your own internal storm. They're about how you behave in the world around you. You need to behave better towards other people even when your internal storm is painful.

I think your real problem is that you're too focused on yourself. Spend some time thinking about other people's problems instead of your own problems and do something to help them. Instead of agonizing over your sexual fantasies, contact a local soup kitchen to find out what they need during the pandemic.