Muh ancestahs mang... u say dey... dey fucked sum monkee kangz n sheeit mang? Dat means we niggaz is kangz n shieet, gnomesayin'. We descended from kangz. Dat means we superior to dem pigskin mayo cracKKKaz and gooks n sheeit bcoz we got dat kangz blood in us.

Dat makes hella sense, mang. Dat's why we so regal and all dem sons of Yakub out there beez jealous of us mang. Dat's why dey be tryna' appro... appropria... that's too wordy n' sheeit nigga... dey tryna' steeeeeal our cultcha n' sheeit nigga.

But wut's a monkee, mang? Is that? Is that a tribe of kangz back in the Muthaland? I think dey... dey da guyz that beez flyna' around in dem pyramids n' sheeit, nigga.

Dat's why I'm for black power, mang. Dat's why black lives matter n' we dun give no fuck about no honKKKeys n sheeit mang, bcoz we kangz and dey cracKKKas n' sheeit lived in caves while we flyna' around Mars. Fuck dem KKKraKKKas mang, dem sons of Yakub. Dey rewrote our history to remove our kang ancestry so we dun know sheeit about who we are today. We need to decol... decolonize... man that's wordy... da educashun system. Jesus, Muhammed, Plato, Caesar, ya' know all dem niggas is black? Fuckin' cracKKKaz beez appropriatin' our history, mang. Even Lincoln and Hitler be black. Fuckin' cracKKKaz, dey chain up muh kang ancestahs and be takin' em' to AmeriKKKa, all the way up until Martin Loofer Kang ended slavery, mang. See, there's da conclusive proof dat we wuz kangz even up until Martin Loofer! We wuz kangz up until like 1965! It's in Martin Loofer's fucking name!! He was a kang, and I'm a kang! We only stopped being kangz bcoz of tha White Man in 1965!

Wait... u say monkee, mang. I jus' look up monkee on dis here smartphone and it says there no monkey tribe. Fuck, mang. All it says is about animals n sheeit... Dat means muh ancestahs be fuckin' animals, mang! Dat's why we look like animals, mang! Fuck!