Leiningen Versus the Ants

https://www.classicshorts.com/stories/lvta.html I always think of this one when the chaos is overwhelming and I feel like the entire world is against me. Just thinking about the story got me through some bad days in Iraq. It's kind of "you can quit when you're dead," the short story.

The Book of Five Rings

Even if you never pick up a weapon, these concepts can be applied to anything involving conflict. It's not a strategy guide like The Art of War, it's philosophy of the warrior mindset. Timeless advice incoming:

Think of that which is not evil. Train in the way. Take an interest in all the arts. Know the way of all professions. Know how to appreciate the advantages and disadvantages of each thing. Learn to judge the quality of each thing. Perceive and understand that which is not visible from the outside. Be attentive even to minimal things. Do not perform useless acts.

Reflections of a Warrior

Written by a Medal of Honor special forces soldier after Vietnam. This passage from near the end hits me every time, really sums up what it's like to try to transition back into civilian life:

Frustration reigned supreme. I felt like I'd been put on a leash. The Army had taken a high performance engine and drastically untuned it. Not only had my activities been >severely curtailed, but the special status I once enjoyed quickly evaporated. I was no longer that unique individual who did the dangerous job >most others were reluctant to do. Since cunning, sharpshooting, and bravery were not required in my new environment, I had nothing to set >me apart from the crowd. I quickly found that the Medal of Honor was more a novelty than anything else to most noncombat soldiers, and >really had no place in a peacetime army. My extensive combat skills and ass-kicking abilities were no longer needed, appreciated, or even >wanted. I ceased being unique. I became just a face in a sea of green, separated from the spotlight. That was perhaps the hardest >adjustment I had to make - adapting to the role of Mr. Average Guy. It was a maddening nightmare for me.

Revolt Against the Modern World

Found it in a book collection I bought from an estate. It was about the same time that I was developing my own magic system, so it blew my mind. I incorporated some its ideas into my own system.

Initiation Into Hermetics

Same as above. Best occult book out there, hands down. Most occult books are theory, this is practical application.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

This damn book will give you PTSD, lol

Martin the Warrior

Kids book from way back. Fairly well describes the tragedies that make 'lone warrior' types of people. In war you never truly win, it will always take something precious from you, and you will never be the person you were before the fighting began. I read it so long ago, but I still empathize with Martin. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, heavier yet is the hand that holds the sword.