all 15 comments

[–]CaelianPost No Toasties 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

From the Good Intentions wing of the Old Jokes Home:

A man went to a palm reader. She told him he had a short life line. He used a knife to make it longer. He bled to death!

[–]CaelianPost No Toasties 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

L'homme propose, Dieu dispose

"People makes plans; God knocks them down while having a good laugh" (loose translation)

[–]CaelianPost No Toasties 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I knew a man who saved a fortune that was splendid
Then he died the day he planned to go and spend it

— Mel Brooks' Hope For The Best (Expect The Worst) from The Twelve Chairs (1970)

[–]hfxB0oyA 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

He looks like a fit 46 year old.

[–]sdl5 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Made me go over there to check...

Yeah, one lacking anything resembling personality or signs of emotions in life.

Ironically, my doctors told ME I was aging backwards in my early 50s, from eyesight to broad testing of functions to health risks, and was where a prime 32-35 year old woman would be.

This was vs my real age of 52, raised 2 kids and all the life stress that equals, plus plenty of real life and indulgent dietary habits plus late sleep patterns... and some truly bad family hereditary risks that showed not a single sign of manifesting in me. Thus all the tests.

All I had done was lose most major stressors, have a home as sanctuary, work I loved... Then spend less than a year after that working to fix up the yard, drink way more water than prior, and start walking the neighborhood- then up and down some nearby hills a couple times a week after 6 months.

Now over a decade later, and with more than half of that with new stressors and no real walking, I am still easily mistaken for under 50 and a scary number of guys look past the small but real signs of aging entirely and think I am maybe 40 at most.

He, on the other hand, is creating endless internal stress and worry in his life and his home is no sanctuary- and he gets very little real nature either. He will probably die suddenly from a stroke.

[–]hfxB0oyA 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Good for you! I've been working on my yard this summer and can agree that the time spent exercising outside has helped my overall composure as well. I think more nature and less internet overall could do great things for our planet.

[–]penelopepnortneyBecome ungovernable 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (7 children)

Johnson, 46, is a centimillionaire tech entrepreneur who has spent most of the last three years in pursuit of a singular goal: don’t die. During that time, he’s spent more than $4 million developing a life-extension system called Blueprint, in which he outsources every decision involving his body to a team of doctors, who use data to develop a strict health regimen to reduce what Johnson calls his “biological age.” That system includes downing 111 pills every day, wearing a baseball cap that shoots red light into his scalp, collecting his own stool samples, and sleeping with a tiny jet pack attached to his penis to monitor his nighttime erections. Johnson thinks of any act that accelerates aging—like eating a cookie, or getting less than eight hours of sleep—as an “act of violence.”

I think Johnson is a self-absorbed pinhead.

[–]Maniak🥃😾 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

Johnson thinks of any act that accelerates aging—like eating a cookie, or getting less than eight hours of sleep—as an “act of violence.”

What does he think about candy? Any idea /u/MeganDelacroix?

[–]MeganDelacroix🤡🌎 detainee[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I had a raspberry sorbet

And despite you I didn't have much more 😜

[–]Maniak🥃😾 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

much

[–]CaelianPost No Toasties 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker" 😽

[–]penelopepnortneyBecome ungovernable 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

You're such a stinker.

[–]CaelianPost No Toasties 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

he outsources every decision involving his body to a team of doctors...

One apple every 8 hours will keep 3 doctors away — B. Kliban

[–]Maniak🥃😾 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That makes for a pretty big iPhone budget...

[–]MeganDelacroix🤡🌎 detainee[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

(spoiler: he can't)