Just like some women fetishize sexual abuse in fiction if the perpetrator is portrayed as an attractive chad, others fetishize abuse in gay fiction or just the homosexuality itself in general - as being something better and more “interesting” than hetero characters and people

I have seen a theory similar to this. That the large amount of abuse in BL/yaoi is essentially because they can get away with it. People won't lose their shit over a dude hitting another guy, but they would if it was a man hitting a woman. Therefore, to avoid the shit-storm, yaoi/BL fangirls use that. Notice how in yaoi, most of the submissive male characters are pretty feminine looking? Alongside having stereotypical female personality traits? That's why.