Or will that cause a disphoria because you identify as a nice person?

This right here is the crux of the "self-identity" issue. If someone that literally everyone thinks is a massive asshole identifies as a nice person, is it bigoted to call them a fucking asshole? What's the line between words that we allow to have meaning and words that can be used for self-identification?

^{The answer is that reducing the meaning of any word to self-ID isn't a slippery slope, it's a flat fucking plateau where ALL words are arbitrary, convey no meaning, and are just means of self-ID}