Yes, they drop the act in real life. People who merely want attention or have a fetish are only going to do it in spaces where it benefits them. The rest don't wave the pride flag everywhere they go and at least make an effort to pass; even if they can't they usually just appear more androgynous, and you'd probably never know. It becomes obvious when they try to dress like an uwu anime gurl as if that's normal and not an obvious male sexualization of women, while also often not even doing as much as shaving their beard, and obsess over being trans and having a "girl dick" which they really shouldn't be so in love with if they're really women as they say they are.